BLOG: Procrastination Station

Wednesday. At home. Not feeling the best today. Yesterday was worse, but at least I was able to solve the mystery of this random obsession that has seemingly popped up overnight.

You see, being who I am, and having the set of life experiences I’ve had (especially recently), my new policy when it comes to my attractions to men is essentially to talk myself out of it every time it happens. Why? Because there’s no point in having feelings for men. They just lie, cheat, steal, drain your energy, and then disappear into the void. Pointless venture.

So clearly, I’ve spent the last few days trying to talk myself out of whatever this weird feeling is that I have developed for my neighbor. Here are my conclusions:

  1. This is clearly a proximity issue. This never would have happened if he didn’t live right next door to me. I never would have met him. I wouldn’t even know he existed. Our paths literally would have never crossed, like, ever. He has his own little local Island life that I will never be part of, and I have my own little expat life that he will never be part of. We don’t hang out in the same places. Based on the pictures I’ve seen, we would never hang out with the same people. I’m not sure if we even have that much in common, actually.
  2. This is just hormones making me crazy because that’s what they do. This is very apparent from the heightened sensitivity to all the smells he’s producing. Let me be clear: these are not bad smells. All of these are very good smells, and now they have all been magnified about 2000x, and that’s the part that drives me up the wall.
  3. This is basically just caveman shit, right? There’s not a lot of deeper thoughts going into whatever this is. I tried to explain this to my friend last night. I said, “I’m not sure what happened. I’ve been living here for 9 months. I was ignoring him for most of them. Then… I don’t know. I guess one day I came home and he was cooking himself dinner and I was like, ‘Okay, okay, I smell what The Rock is cooking!’ And then later he came outside in some ridiculous t-shirt with the sleeves cut off so I had a front row seat at the gun show and… apparently that was enough for me. I’ve been going crazy ever since.” That’s all it took, I guess. Definitely NOT deep at all.
  4. I like hot jerks. Who doesn’t, amiright? He’s definitely hot and he’s definitely been acting like a jerk. 100% sure it has nothing to do with me. I think he just has some stuff going on he’s not disclosing. As previously stated, this man is living proof that the literary trope of British men hiding ugly secrets in their attics is a real, actual thing, not fiction!
  5. He’s an actor. He’s easy to write about. The words… look at how they flow onto the page so naturally! I don’t even have to try! They are just there. Cannot resist the Muse Energy!
  6. Also, I think I might secretly be jealous of him??? Maybe??? Like, he lives here. His family lives here. He has friends and a community and he doesn’t have to worry about visa paperwork. He just gets to party it up and then travel all over the world to attend more parties. Yet, when I see him, he always looks miserable, or he’s in a bad mood, or he’s complaining, or he’s yelling at me. I think I’ve only seen him smile a handful of times. Mostly, it’s a scowl. I don’t get it. I wish I had a family that loved me, a community, a home. I don’t have any of that shit, and it’s not for lack of trying. So I guess I’m not really understanding what his issue is.
  7. He’s so judgmental of me! So now I feel like I have something to prove, which makes no sense to me at all. Why the fuck would I care about what some fancy Englishman dressed up in all white sitting all high on his hill looking down at me thinks about anything? The Colonial Era is over, bro! I don’t have to take this shit from you anymore! I’m American! Annoying! Yet somehow… it’s really doing it for me? Why? How? Something, something, Fireworks in the sky? Idk!
  8. This is an excuse to put off writing my book. He is just the latest stop on this trainwreck. Welcome to Procrastination Station! Have a set of Mardi Gras beads for your trouble, y’all. Then again, writing something is better than nothing!

So as you can see, I have effectively talked myself out of this situation, which is why I’ve just written close to 800 words about him in one go.

Meh. Only 800 words? That’s nothing! You should see Andrew’s bookS (there are two). Talk about writing about people I don’t like IRL!

Still can’t figure out what happened there. It will forever remain a mystery; hopefully one that will stay buried under the sands of time, especially now that I’ve paid $50 HKD to a witch under a bridge to “curse” him. Not gonna lie, pretty sure he would love that. That’s just how his character was.

ANYWAY WE ARE NOT WRITING ABOUT ANDREW ANYMORE! NO ANDREW ALLOWED! He’s been banned for life from my books. He’s definitely not in the latest one. No Andrew, no Bloody Mary’s, no Mad Dog. In my mind, I left them behind at the bar in the town. I already told that story. They’re not part of the specific story I’m trying to tell now.

You know who did end up in the book? Levi Gene!

LE GASP!

He’s not a major character. He makes like three appearances in the beginning in order to assist me with blowing up my life and then I go on a journey across the world. Good for him. Hopefully he’ll read it and finally send me that gift basket he owes me for helping him get divorced. That would have been the classy thing to do, bro. I know it, you know it, everybody knows it. It is what it is.

I’m definitely putting off writing this book right now. Ugh. Okay, I need to go make a sincere effort to be productive now instead of obsessing over Mr. Next Door, who is literally hiding from me right now. He’s pulled a complete disappearing act in the last week and a half. I wish I could say this improved the situation for me, but it didn’t, because now all I’m left with is the smells, lol. Somehow… that’s WORSE!

Okay, off for real. Farewell!

BLOG: One Week’s Worth of Posts

Wednesday. Here I am, at the Secret Society. I can’t stay away in spite of all evidence that I should. It is what it is. You know me.

I finally got a new pair of glasses, so I can finally stare at a screen for pro-longed periods of time again without hurting my eyes. It’s been, like, what? A whole week since I’ve written anything? No wonder I’m starting to lose my shit.

Now… where did I leave off?

Ah yes, I was right here, at the Secret Society. I had just been forced to put away my iPad because of an oncoming shark attack. Luckily, none of the sharks are here right now. It’s too early for them, I think. Hopefully I’ll be able to finish this post and make it out of here before they show up and start swarming me again. I assume they’re all down at The Wolf right now, which is everywhere I don’t want to be.

Okay, let’s go by the day… starting right where we left off…

THURSDAY

So I rolled up here and nothing interesting happened for awhile. All those old bankers were up here celebrating a birthday. I chose not to get involved. Not trying to get friendly with a bunch of old married men, as previously stated. Especially this crowd. I ignored them, they ignored me, everything was grand.

Then my Irish friend (he needs a name that isn’t Seamus lol) from Dublin showed up. You know, the married one who confessed his “love” for me, yet refuses to divorce his wife even though it’s clearly not working out between them. Yeah, that guy. Winner winner chicken dinner.

So we started chatting, but he was annoying me, as per usual. Luckily, right at that moment, that crazy old British Banker who roped me in here the first time around showed up to interrupt the conversation. He walked past us to go to the bathroom and gave me a sideways glance. I turned to my Irish friend and said, “Watch this.”

The British Banker (also needs a name) came back and immediately walked up to greet me. I asked him how his plot to overthrow the British Monarchy and install Trump as King is going.

“Now’s your chance,” I said. “The monarchy is old, weak, and unpopular. The Prime Minister is a cat. Brexit has ruined everything. It’s all very Shakespearean. I think you’re really set up for success here if you give it the good ol’ college try.”

The Irish guy snickered to himself as he watched this exchange. Meanwhile, the British Banker gave me a defeated look and sighed deeply.

“Oh no, no no,” he said. “Trump is an idiot. I simply can’t stand him anymore. He’s a clown running a big tent circus show.”

Oh, really? You don’t say. I’m amazed you finally figured it out. It’s like… Wow, that only took, what, like, four months? Hmm. Wonder what changed. Aside from… well… everything…

Anyway, so happy to report the plot to install Trump as King of the Commonwealth is no more. I guess they’ll be passing it on down to Wills & Kate after all. As they say, the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t.

“Say,” he asked. “How old are you anyway?”

“I’m 37, turning 38 this year. I’m getting close to cougar status. You better watch out or I’ll sneak up on ya!”

“You can’t sneak up on me.”

My Irish friend and I gave each other a sideways glance and I started laughing again.

“Oh, I think I already did.”

Needless to say, he found this very amusing and decided we are friends now. Sure we are. Why not? Everyone knows my favourite people to make friends with in this world are rich old white men. And here I don’t even get anything out of it except a bunch of random, ridiculous stories. Love that for me.

As this conversation came to a close, so did the bar. I packed up my things and headed on down the hill. I stopped by the Cantina on the way down, where one of my friends was working. We will call her Kitty (she chose this name herself). I stopped in for a drink while they were closing down the bar. That was when the ghost showed up.

As it turns out, my much beloved Cantina is haunted AF, which explains the slightly-off vibes there. The ghost was very much present on this evening, as evidenced by the flickering lights, weird vibes, and ever-present creepy feeling of being watched by a nonhuman entity. Kitty was terrified, so I walked her home since we lived in the same direction.

So ends Thursday.

FRIDAY

Friday was busy for me. I went to a shop nearby to pick up a pair of new glasses since I lost my other pair. Got an eye exam, which I haven’t had done in literally 20 years because the American healthcare system is wildly overpriced hot garbage.

Turns out I needed a prescription after all. Picked out a lovely set of frames, added in the blue light protection, and paid about $125 USD for the entire package. Mindfuck. In the US, the frames alone would cost $300-$500. Such a fucking rip-off.

After that, I decided to go visit the witches under the bridge in Causeway Bay for some good old-fashioned villain hitting. It’s a ritual where you write down someone’s name and put a curse on them. For me, I wrote down the name of someone who I felt put a curse on me roughly ten years ago. I didn’t want to curse him. I just wanted to cut the cord between us once and for all.

I won’t say who it was. I will just say it was someone from Verm who has caused me a lot of pain and anguish over the course of a decade. Personally, I feel like it’s very obvious. If it’s not… you clearly haven’t been keeping up. I think we all know who the main character in Bloody Mary’s was, and it’s definitely not me.

Anyway, I just wanted my energetic field to be free of his essence once and for all.

Prior to going to the bridge, I performed a protection ritual on myself. I meditated, set my intention carefully, and dressed in all white. I don’t mess with black magic/bad medicine/bad juju/whatever you want to call it. I fully believe putting a curse on someone will come back at you ten fold. That’s why I was careful to set my intention to cleanse myself, not to curse someone else.

I walked around the coven and looked for the perfect witch to cast the spell. For this, I decided to go with my gut. I think I chose right because the results were apparent right away. I left feeling lighter, happier, freer. It was the best $50 HKD I’ve ever spent.

I returned home to find my neighbor acting weird, as per usual. No idea what’s up with him, honestly. I keep trying to dig and he won’t tell me shit. You know these English guys. They’ve always got something hidden in their attics.

I straight up said to him, “Okay, if you refuse to tell me, my mind will fill in the blank for you. I will just assume you have a haunted portrait or a mentally ill ex-wife locked up in an attic somewhere.”

He didn’t say anything to that. Mmm, yeah… that’s what I thought, Mr. Rochester. It is what it is. I’m done digging. I’ll let that one come to me. I’m over this whole “In the Mood for Love” dynamic. I don’t need this shit. I can go out any night of the week and take my pick from the crowd. Fuck that.

This she says as the bartender she made out with last week stands directly in front of her. Haha.

This leads me into Friday Night, aka Girls Night Out. It was my friend’s birthday. I haven’t given her a fake name yet even though she’s the first friend I made when I came back to HK. I haven’t been doing well with this. Let’s call her… Anastasia! Haha, inside joke. She also chose this name for herself.

I met up with Anastasia at a random spot along the escalator. One of her regulars was there so he bought us some dranks. We hung out with him for awhile, then walked down to the Cantina to pick up Kitty. She didn’t want to close alone because of the ghost, so we sat and waited for her while she finished up.

As we were waiting, the bartender I made out with last week appeared. They both knew him already because they’re all Filipina/o. My friends immediately picked up on the weird vibe and looked at me like, “What was that?”

I made the mistake of telling them what happened. Y’all, they were SCANDALIZED! They wouldn’t stop giving me shit about it for the rest of the night. They started calling him “The Pirate” because I told them to stop screaming his real name so loud half of Central can hear. Like, girl, do you know who I am? No real names, please! So now the joke is just “Oooooooh Pirate!!!!” Like, yeah, he really do be out here looking like a pirate though. It is what it is.

After that, we went down to the Nepalese shisha bar for a drink and a smoke. We were there until about 3am. Kitty took off home, while Anastasia and I went to a late-night Indian restaurant I had no idea existed. It was amazing. Loved it.

Finally got home some time around 4am. My neighbor, whose name is now Mr. Rochester until he makes a decent argument in favour of something better, was definitely awake when I came home. I know because I heard him get up and go out onto the rooftop. He does this pretty regularly.

Unfortunately for him, I was in a different dimension thanks to the combination of the witch’s spell, the dranks, the shisha, the Indian food, and the two hits of a vape pen I took from some random finance bro at the bar. There would be no weird rooftop meeting on this night.

OMG, this is getting to be such a chore. Now you know why I have to write every single day. Trying to go a week at a time is just too much for me. No wonder I’ve been feeling so crazy.

Definitely had to take a break from writing for a minute. Also, the usual Krewe of Sharks showed up and wanted to talk to me. My not-so-secret identity has officially been revealed. I’ll get to that later…

Anyway, continuing on…

SATURDAY

Saturday morning I woke up as if it was any other ordinary day and checked my IG. The first person on my “People You May Know” was one of the mean girls from the yoga shala in India. Apparently she made herself a professional yoga teacher account and decided to use it to creep on me.

I clicked on it and discovered she is now marketing herself as a “trauma-informed yoga teacher.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Bitch, PLEASE! Get the fuck OUT! You are not a fucking “trauma-informed yoga teacher.” You’re a mean girl with an Instagram account. Shut the fuck UP!

“BREAKING NEWS: The worst person you met at your YTTC is now a trauma-informed yoga teacher!”

LOL! LMFAO!

That’s the funniest fucking shit I’ve ever seen. Wow. Just… wow. Daily Inspiration for you: you really CAN be anything you want to be. All you need is an Instagram account and some basic-ass marketing skills.

God, that totally made my day. That’s fucking hilarious. I literally cannot even. I mean… good luck with that, girl. I mean that sincerely. Personally, I would never take your class after the shitty fucking way you treated me while I was ACTUALLY trying to sort out my trauma. Yikes!

Fucking delusional.

Anyway…

So that was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Pure delusion right there. Truly fascinating from a psychological perspective. Like… really? I can’t.

Okay, moving on.

I got up and dressed and walked over to SYP to meet up with an old friend I met in Paris back in 2011. We met at one of Jim Haynes’ dinner parties. He’s this famous American who used to throw weekly dinner parties for strangers in Paris. It’s a whole thing. You can go look him up.

We met up for coffee and lunch and caught up on the last 15 years. He’s writing a book. He asked me a lot of questions about my writing. He also wanted to know why I never moved to Paris. I explained my crazy family situation to him. He said, “Yeah, you know, that never quite sat right with me. I remember when I met you that you had a very specific plan for your life. Then I kept checking in on you and you were still out in South Dakota. I just kept asking myself… what happened?”

Well, now you know! And now I live in Hong Kong instead, so it all worked out in the end!

So that was fun. We went our separate ways again. I returned home to prepare for the oncoming typhoon. Stocked up on snacks and drinks. Made sure the windows were sealed shut. Snuggled up in bed to watch TV all night. Fun times.

SUNDAY

This whole day was occupied by the typhoon. I couldn’t go anywhere, nor did I want to. Sorry but I’m not brave enough to go out wandering around in extreme weather just for the sake of the gram. It is what it is.

MONDAY

The most exciting part of this day is when I discovered an American grocery store in my neighborhood that sells Costco-sizes of American products. I got a giant bottle of Frank’s Red Hot Buffalo Sauce and a giant container of Creole seasoning. Yasssss. So happy! It’s the little things in life, truly.

TUESDAY

I did nothing.

WEDNESDAY

Finally, something interesting happened! I went up to the Secret Society, as previously mentioned. There was no one there when I first arrived, which gave me enough time to write out the events of my life up to Saturday. That’s when the sharks showed up.

I was busy typing away when I heard someone announce in a loud British accent, “There she is! She’s writing! She’s writing!” It was the Banker dude. OMG, he really needs a name. Now they all need names, because they found me out!

So when I’ve been up there, I’ve been going by the name Liz. I just didn’t want to be known, I didn’t want to be found, and I definitely did not want any of them to find out I’ve been watching them this entire time.

Unfortunately, they caught onto me. How? Well, I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that it’s because I’m a young woman in a room full of old men, sitting at a keyboard clacking away. In my mind, I think I’m invisible. In their minds… not so much!

And so they finally unmasked my not-so-secret identity as Betsey Horton, Writer Extraordinaire. I think they were all slightly disappointed to discover that I’m a writer, not a spy. I know. I’m disappointed too. It is what it is.

Naturally, they wanted to know more about my writing. At first I was nervous, but then I remembered that I was standing in a room full of highly educated people who live and work in Hong Kong making a fuckton of money. This is not some shitty dive bar in South Dakota full of aggressively illiterate MAGAts, nor is it an expat bar in Bangkok where shady people go to hide from their extensive rap sheets back in the West. It’s a different audience, for sure.

There is a reason why I joined this club, and this is exactly why.

I told them about Bloody Mary’s Bar, which they were highly amused by. I’m not even kidding right now, you guys. These gossipy old queens ATE THAT SHIT UP AND LEFT NO CRUMBS! Caught their interest right away, as I knew it eventually would if I sat on it long enough. Looks like that curse worked, MWA HAHAHAHA!

Then I explained what happened in Bangkok and about how mad everyone at the American Bar was that I wrote about them. The HK-era were like, “Well, of course they were mad. Thailand is where shady people go to hide.” TRUTH!

So then they wanted to know what I’d been writing about them. I said, “Oh, not much. I came here to hide, not to write.” Lies! I did not tell them the story about how I met all of them at The Wolf, nor about their friend and his little stunt in the bathroom. I mean, they were all there for that, but I doubt they remember. I remember, though. That’s not a story I’m likely to forget any time soon.

I was really scared they were going to be mad and throw me out. Instead, they laughed. They thought it was funny! They were like, “Oh, I want to read that. I want to see what fake names you come up with everyone on the Island and try to guess who they are. Haha, that’s so funny. You’re just like Lady Whistledown!”

So now my nickname is Lady Whistledown, which is hilarious, actually. Like, yep, that’s me. I am the modern day American equivalent of Lady Whistledown, and proud of it.

All of them encouraged me to finish the book I’ve been writing about my first year living abroad. I’ve never seen so many people cheering me on. It was wild! They are here for it!

My Banker friend was especially impressed with my discipline as far as writing every day goes. Like, “Oh, you’re for real, aren’t you?”

Yes, yes I am. I know it, you know it, everyone knows it!

And now they know the name Betsey Horton!

I still asked them to call me Liz, though. I just… really, really prefer to separate my writing identity from my every day identity. It’s a whole thing.

After bar close, I wandered on down the hill back home. Along the way, I ran into my Auntie, who I swear to god is secretly a gangster of some sort. We hung out for awhile at the corner bar across from the 7/11 on Peel Street.

That was when Mr. Pirate came along. I brought him back home with me to my rooftop, forgetting about the weirdness with Mr. Rochester. Mistake! Pretty sure Mr. Rochester came out onto the rooftop and saw us out there, because Mr. Pirate kept turning around and looking behind him and asking me if there was someone else there. I was like, “Oh, yeah, that guy. Just ignore him.”

Unfortunately, neither of us could ignore the invisible presence of the third party, so I had to send him on his way home. IDK. Maybe it’s all in my head. Or maybe… it’s not… because Mr. Pirate noticed it too and wouldn’t stop asking me about it. So… I guess I can’t be hosting any more guests at home now. Especially since the first insult Mr. Rochester lobbed at me during our first argument was, “All you do is get drunk and make out with random guys in elevators!”

Yeahhh…. Guess he’s decided to stake his claim to that specific elevator, lol. I mean, I get it. The thought of seeing him with another girl makes me weirdly jealous. I don’t know why. I don’t even like him that much. It’s probably because we are sharing a wall and he’s always around lurking in the shadows, waiting to jump out and scare me. He’s just this ever-present force in my life now that I can’t escape from. I would be so mad. I would be like, “Hey, that’s MY neighbor! Back off bitch!”

It is what it is.

Now I’m here at Ye Olde Irish Pub, the last place where I can hide. Yep, I’m a known quantity in the universe now. That means I gotta come all the way over to Kowloon to hide. And even then… they know me here too! Everyone knows me wherever I go! I’m special! I can’t escape from my fate! It has found me… again.

Alas.

Alright, I’m off to finish my Guinness (LOL) and then head on back over across the bay before the weather gets worse. Rain, rain, go away, come again some other day.

Have a lovely day!

BLOG: The Darjeeling Limited

Fri-yay!

I am currently hungover AF, which is a shame because I had big plans for today. In addition to the two interviews and dozens of rejections, I had three follow-ups that I definitely planned to follow up on today. Naturally, I self-sabotaged by getting way too drunk while I was at home alone.

Welcome to my life. And here I wonder why no one will ever love me, haha. Hey Betsey, here’s a brilliant idea: why don’t you stop looking at men and look at yourself for a change? Learn to love you and the mess that you are instead of waiting for some hot beefcake to rescue you from your bullshit.

Wow, brilliant, so many lessons learned today. I feel so enlightened now!

Yes, yes, yes, learn to love yourself, blah blah blah, become a strong, empowered woman, and all that jazz!

That being said, I would still very much like to end my days by falling into the arms of a hot, sexy beefcake (preferably with an even sexier accent) who just rescued me from a cockroach. That’s the real dream right there.

Listen, Ewan McGregor divorced his wife, married a woman 20 years younger, got her a job playing a Twi’lek in a Star War. It could still happen for me. I could be Wife #3, you know what I’m saying? There’s still time for me to see what’s really underneath the kilt, ya know what I’m saying?

Lol

Hahaha

Yeah I’m definitely still “off my tits” as they say in… Ireland? Scotland? England? Wales? The UK? I don’t even know anymore. They’re all so different. Is this a colonizer phrase? Who even knows anymore?

Breaking News from the Thai-US Embassy: Your passport will be revoked if you’re not making your child support payments on time.

I love this for all Thai women everywhere. Now let’s do the Philippeans! Stop letting these gross Passport Bros get away with shit! If I’m not allowed to go back to Thailand because I pissed off the local branch of the Irish Mafia, then they definitely shouldn’t be allowed back.

I’m totally kidding, of course. I’m not banned from Thailand. They’re would never ban me. All I do there is spend ridiculous amounts of money, and I don’t even talk to Bar Girls! I just blow it all on staying in a ridiculously overpriced loft with a bad pool just so I can be 5ft from the bar I’m obsessed with and all of the beautiful, wonderful, amazing people who frequent it. Love that for me!

Anyway, so that’s why I had to come back to Hong Kong. Now I blow all my money on a tiny little shoebox apartment where I somehow magically lose things like hair clips and my phone, which makes absolutely no sense. It must be the faeries. When in doubt, always blame the faeries, or the “little people,” as we say in South Dakota. Well, I don’t know if that’s what “they” say, but it’s definitely what Mad Dog used to say!

So yeah, I was definitely supposed to do real, actual, productive things today. Not sure that’s going to happen, which is unfortunate because I have things I really need to get done.

Instead I am sitting here at my favourite brunch place, right on the patio, in the heat, away from the air on like a crazy person, sweating it all out as I watch the world pass me by. I love it.

So many hot beefcakes walking by on their way to and from the gym on their lunch break. I love it. Obsessed with the beefcakes. Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight! Won’t somebody take the shadows away!

Everyone here thinks I’m so crazy for sitting in the heat instead of the aircon. Like, I get it, the weather is insane, but I really need to sweat it out. I keep telling them I used to live in a very, very, very cold place and now all I want to do is be out in the sun and sweat all my shitty feelings out. They don’t understand me. It is what it is.

Here is my real question: how do I get paid to sit in a restaurant and just watch people on the street? This is the only job I know how to do. Everything else is just, like, so stressful, you guys.

I literally do not know how people exist in the full-time corporate job world. They are all so fucking weird. They have no personal lives, no hobbies, no personalities, nothing. They just work, work, work, and then maybe go to the gym, and then they wonder why they’re all so unhappy, and then they make the rest of us feel bad about not being obsessed with work like that are.

Like, listen, I get it. I hate my family too. Honestly, the majority of them are terrible, narcissistic people who treat other people like shit and literally cannot handle being talked to in the same way. All I’ve ever wanted to do is get the fuck away from them. But I don’t throw myself into a job just to escape from that. That’s how you end up dying in a pile of your own shit, just like my dad. It is what it is.

I still remember the last thing my dad said to me before we all went to bed and I found him almost dead the next day. His last words to me were: “Can you pick me up a chocolate mocha frappachino?”

And then we found him half-dead in bed the next morning and then he was in a coma for two weeks and I had to be the one who called in the medicine man to read him his last rights because my stupid, evil mother was too drunk to literally do anything except be mean to me, and then I had to watch him die in the hospital bed right in front of me.

And then literally everyone in that stupid fucking shithole town was a giant fucking asshole about it, because that’s who they are and that’s what they do. Thanks again for ruining my life, Dad! So grateful for everything??????

Lol, yeah, whatever, at least I get to live in Asia now. Just like I always dreamed. Literally. My life only got better because my dad died. How fucking fucked up and shitty is that? It is what it is.

And this is why I have no idea how to have fun.

This is why men are a problem. They think it’s MY job to provide “fun” for them and then they get mad when they have to do actual emotional labor in the middle of the fucking blackout they put me in by plying me with booze nonstop.

So fucking stupid. Clean up your own mess, bro. I can’t do that for you. I will never do that for you. I am not your fucking mommy, okay? I’m not picking up your dirty underwear off the floor or doing your laundry or cleaning your house or cooking you food. Your job is to stand there looking sexy while fanning me with a giant palm leaf, then carry me away on my solid gold throne. Okay? Okay.

This is why I’m not married. My spirit did not reincarnate multiple times just to serve some stupid fucking man who won’t even wash his own dirty asshole. Fuck you and your fucking patriarchy. I am the motherfucking Queen!

“You don’t have to love me. You don’t even have to like me. But you will respect me. Why? Because I’m a Boss!” -Kelis

SO I had some things to do today. Instead I’m sitting here on the patio writing crazy, unhinged things and having notions. This is exactly why my Irish ancestors got on that fucking boat and came to America. Their dream was for the 7th generation ahead of them to sit on a patio and write and make art and look fabulous while doing fucking NOTHING! No work down by the docks or in the factories or on the farm. No having 18 children, half of which died somewhere along the way. No nothing. I don’t have to do shit now, just like my ancestors dreamed. Yet somehow, I still feel so unfulfilled…

I have definitely sat in the heat for too long. It’s starting to make me sick. I need to go inside and sit by the aircon.

Okay, okay, okay, done done done.

Now inside. The sound of the construction on the Temple is very loud. I like this spot because it’s close to the historic Man Mo Temple. Man Mo is the god of “literature.” I always stop at the gates on my way home to say a prayer. I love the “Under Construction” vibe right now. It makes me feel better about myself. Like, yes, we have stood the test of time and survived, for better or for worse. That being said, sometimes we need to take some time to fix ourselves up for the sake of future preservation. It is what it is. I love it. I’m so here for it.

I should get a job as a bar cat. Like the meme. I don’t work. I don’t care. I just sit in the wrong spot and somehow run the entire place. Like Andrew did at Bloody Mary’s. Is my dream to actually be Andrew? Is that why I was so obsessed with him for like, what, ten years? Who even knows anymore!

That’s the second time this week I’ve thought about Andrew. I haven’t thought about Andrew in a long time. I mean, how could I? Between the Hot Beef Stew and The Russian, my heart, mind, and va-jay-jay has been extremely occupied. There’s very little space for a fictional character these days. I just meet so many attractive men. Sometimes I still look at Andrew’s old pictures and think to myself, “Wow, I really thought this guy was hot.” Goes to show how slim the pickins really are out there on the lone prairie. His catchphrase should be, “Yikes on Bikes!”

I will always remember this chapter as that time I was so desperate to get railed by a hot sexy beefcake that I wrote two whole books about the bartender I thought was really hot from far away, but only in a dark room.

Just kidding. I just thought of him now sitting in the doorway with his mountain man beard, looking mean and old and cranky AF, wearing some ancient fucking t-shirt from some concert he went to in the 90’s, taking off his baseball cap and wiping his forehead in exhaustion, as if he had actually done something productive today. Like maybe he mowed the lawn without the t-shirt and hat on, and then walk down to fetch the mail while I was riding by on my white horse, and that’s why he’s tired, or something? IDK!

Sorry, wow, wait, did it just get hotter in here? Because I’m literally sitting under the aircon right now and I just started sweating again.

I mean… he might not be the Pabst Blue Ribbon winner of the Magic Mike Live contest, but something about that really did it for me. I mean, you don’t see me sitting here writing two novels about The Russian. It is what it is.

I know I love him because I have lived my whole life being screamed at and called crazy, and he’s the only person who ever did that in a way that actually turned me on. I was so into it. I was like, “Please, yell at me more. I don’t know why I like this but I do.”

I don’t like it coming from anyone else, but when you do it, it’s like… somehow the hottest thing ever? No one knows.

Awww, my Andrew. I loved my Andrew. I really did. At least, I thought I did. Let’s be real here. I have never been in an actual, meaningful long-term relationship. I just stare at hot guys from far away and fantasize about what it would be like to have them fan me with a giant palm leaf. I don’t know jack shit about love.

But if you asked me if I’ve ever been in love with anyone… I would tell you it was Andrew, every single time. I loved him. I really did. I don’t know what real love is… but… whatever I felt was pretty close to that. I hope he’s happy now, wherever he is. Maybe Seattle? Who even knows these days? I don’t know. I don’t look for him or check in on him or ask about him. I don’t have to. He just visits me in my dreams…

*sigh*

Anyways, yes, what the fuck was I talking about again? My dad dying? The fact that I moved to the other side of the planet just to be this fucked up all the time? Maybe something about paying child support so your passport doesn’t get revoked? Who even knows anymore!

I really need to eat something. All I had for a dinner was a plastic cup full of olives and feta cheese to go with the two bottles of wine I drank after eating nothing all day.

I think sometimes I act this way because I just want to die and I lack the courage to just jump off the rooftop when the void calls to me. So I just kill myself slowly with alcohol and cigarettes and men instead. It is what it is.

Anyway, I can’t kill myself. I’ve already tried multiple times. It never works. Someone up there wants me to live, to survive, to give something back to this world. I don’t understand. If I’m still alive after all of this, I must have some kind of purpose. I just don’t know what that purpose is. I just know when I look at worksheets about teaching grammar to children, I feel absolutely nothing at all. It means nothing to me. I’m just here for the job, the visa, the paycheck. I can’t make a difference in this world. I’m just a woman, standing here in front of a white board, asking for a steady paycheck without the cost of being bullied at work.

It is what it is.

I really need to eat something. I haven’t eaten anything substantial in like… at least two days. At least.

It is what is.

I like that scene in the Darjeeling Limited at the end when they all leave their baggage behind and board the train, waving it all goodbye. That’s the vibe right now. I just want to leave my impossibly heavy suitcases behind and hop that train to the next shitty little village in India, and do yoga with a giant snake, and just have fun and live life and have a good time.

I wish I was fun. I just want to have fun. Someone, please, teach me how to have fun. I just want to have some fun!

Okay, I’m done now. I really do need to eat something or I will actually pass out in this “brunch concept” of a restaurant right now.

The End!

BLOG: Chum for the Sharks

Friday.

Currently sitting inside the coffee shop, which I almost never do. Overstimulation Central. Bright lights, loud music, people talking. Not the vibe I’m looking for today.

Usually I prefer to sit outside and watch the street. Unfortunately, the Dump Truck came to China and brought a cloud of terrible weather with him. It’s been raining cats and dogs down here in Hong Kong since he showed up.

Coincidence? I think not.

The rainy weather always takes my energy out of me. I have spent most of the last 48 hours in bed as a direct result. Most of my time was spent sleeping and watching a Japanese TV series on Netflix called “Straight to Hell” about a famous fortune teller and her climb to the top. I love her, I hate her, I kind of want to be her, but I also don’t agree with half of the shit she does. It is what it is.

I went out on Wednesday night, much to my regret. I did not find any interesting stories, so I came home early. In my drunken mind, I decided it was a good idea to knock on my neighbor’s door and offer him a can of body spray called “Beach.” You know, because he looks like a Ken Doll and Ken’s job is Beach. Right. Logical to me, not so logical to him. It was my way of trying to thank him for all the help he’s given me over the last few months.

It did not go well. He opened the door and was so rude to me that I was genuinely shocked by his behavior. Talk about two-faced! Wow! He basically told me to fuck off and slammed the door in my face. Again, shocking. That was not the same person I’ve been speaking to on the rooftop. Crazy.

At first I took it personally, but then I remembered he’s an Actor. He has a “Process.” What I did was basically the equivalent of knocking on the door to his trailer while he’s in the middle of his “Process.” He’s probably busy “looksmaxxing” (or whatever it is the kids say these days). He has a very strict routine he has to do to get into his roles, you know? If he doesn’t follow it, he can’t do his job. It is what it is.

Still not an excuse to be a total dick to me for no reason whatsoever, though.

Anyway, I felt my attraction to him vanish pretty much immediately after that. There goes my Slow Burn! Dammit! I was really looking forward to being cornered in the stairwell and “absolutely wrecked.” Alas!

He told me who he was, and I believe him. He does not play the romantic leads in Western movies. He plays the bad guys in Chinese movies. It is what it is.

That’s okay with me! I need a good villain! He can team up with my other British Guy from Bangkok. Birds of a villainous feather flock together! I can already envision this in my head.

So that happened, and now we’ve learned why we don’t fuck our colonizers! Okay! No more British Lads, regardless where in the former Empire they were raised. Same shit, different colony. It is what it is.

Learning new things every day.

Gotta love it.

Okay, enough about my many men. I have real issues to deal with, like visas and moving and paid jobs that are not materializing even though I desperately need one. I don’t know how anyone in charge actually expects anyone to make it in this day and age. It’s especially frustrating watching a show like “Straight to Hell,” which is another version of the “Baby Boomer Climbs to The Top of the Ladder” myth. Yes, they climbed to the top, then they pulled it up behind them. Shitty.

I do love her whole attitude about wanting to start her own business so she is no longer beholden to anyone. Nice idea, right? Oh, except for the part where she gets conned out of all of her money and property by some hottie with a body, gets taken as a slave by his big old non-yakuza gangster boss, then ends up dating an actual yakuza boss to free herself from slavery.

Lol, just a little flaw in the plan right there…

Sadly, I have no talent for business, at least that I know of. If I had any sense of it, I would already have one. Instead I’m just running around SEA, collecting men like Pokémon cards in some sort of effort to become a writer.

The only explanation I have for my behavior right now is “Arrested Development.” This is exactly what I would have been doing had my parents allowed me to move to Los Angeles like I wanted to when I was 27 years old. But no. That wasn’t allowed, so I had to stay in a small town in the middle of nowhere in bumfuck South Dakota, where there were zero opportunities, and do nothing and date no one.

I seriously have no idea what my parents were thinking. Honestly, I don’t think they were. My dad was in active opioid addiction and my mother was on some combination of alcohol/allergy medication/god knows what else. All they ever did was yell and scream and fight with each other. If I asked for anything or needed anything, I got screamed at too.

This is how I ended up living in downtown Verm, writing about Bloody Mary’s Bar, being put through a mass hazing and harassment campaign by some psycho bar owner and his little cult of followers dedicated to protecting rapists, abusers, predators, and pedos from evil feminist bitches like me. Good job, guys! You really SHOWED me I was wrong!

What a joke, lol.

Anyway, I am here now, as I continue to remind myself. I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself to be functional and normal instead of just embracing the freedom and running around the world like I could be.

Just kidding, I can’t do that. Nope. I have a paperwork issue of urgent need. My mother heard this and was THRILLED that she finally had another chance to sabotage me! This is what she does. I have like 25 years of documentation of her doing shit like this. If it involves me needing paperwork of some sort in order to secure my freedom, she will find a way to sabotage it. Why is she like this? I don’t know. But I do know I can’t fix it or change it, so hopefully after this round, I will finally be free of her bullshit and able to act fully on my own.

This is the only thing motivating me right now: I need a job so I can finally be independent from her. I am 37 years old. I should not be fighting with this woman over my friggin’ birth certificate. I shouldn’t have to worry about her stealing my mail or doing my taxes without permission. I shouldn’t have to call her asking if I can get a new phone. None of this is normal. Why does she think it’s normal?

Furthermore, why are so many people siding with and enabling this woman’s abusive behavior? It’s insane the way she manipulates people. You are not the victim of your evil, selfish daughter, Karen. You’re an abuser. You’ve been abusing me my whole life. That’s literally why I moved to the other side of the planet. I wanted to get the fuck away from you.

She plays this game where she’ll be screaming at me, “You’re an ADULT! You have CHOICES!” But then she directly interferes with my paperwork and sabotages me and actively prevents me from being an actual adult. Then she gets everyone to pile onto me about “not acting like an adult.” Literally, all you had to do was give me a pile of paperwork 15 years ago and none of this would have ever happened. But no, you didn’t want to do that. You wanted to put on a show and play a game and ruin my life so you could get attention.

Ugh. No wonder I can’t think straight sometimes. How can I find stability when I’m still being controlled by people who do not have my best interests at heart? I’m so exhausted right now. I don’t know how to get out.

I’m angry at myself that the job I took in Hong Kong didn’t work out. I am here a year later looking at my plan from last year and I’m just mad. I didn’t accomplish what I set out to accomplish, which was becoming fully financially independent from my abusive family. Why? Because I jumped from one abusive situation into another, which was the atmosphere of this company I worked for. I was just chum for the sharks, as they say here in Hong Kong. I was so desperate to escape my old situation that I dived right into a shark tank without looking. Luckily, I made it out alive, but still…

I’m still in the same position I was before, only now I’m running out of time and money. I still haven’t made any progress on the job thing. I just can’t stand the idea of being used and exploited like that again. I’m so over it.

All I know is that I never want to be beholden to anyone else ever again. I wanted to be free of my family forever. I don’t want anymore ties to them. I wanted to be in control of my own destiny for once in my life.

Unfortunately, it feels like the only thing I know how to do is put my words to paper. I can’t offer the world anything else beyond that. I thought there was something to this teaching English and/or Yoga thing, but there isn’t. It’s just more exploitation in return for table scraps. I’m over it.

I’m so lost right now. I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. I just want money, a room of my own, and the freedom to write forever. How do I acquire that? I don’t know. By manifestation and the law of attraction and magic, I guess?

If I were smart and had no morals, I would just start my own yoga cult. That’s where all the money is! Unfortunately for me, I don’t think like that. I don’t look at vulnerable people struggling with mental illness and think, “How can I exploit them for ca$$$h money, baby?” I will never be like that. I’m proud not to be like that.

Well, that’s how I end up getting conned into giving out free sex work services by handsome Russian men, isn’t it? I am too innocent and too pure of heart. I’m swimming in shark-infested waters right now and I don’t even know what kind of sea creature I am. How can I thrive if I don’t know who I am? Am I shark? An octopus? A starfish? A dolphin? A turtle? A seal? I don’t know.

Maybe I should go see a fortune teller…

Yes, that’s it. I’ll go and see a fortune teller. Surely that will fix everything!

Off to go home and finish that TV show now.

BLOG: All Over The Place

Here we are. Monday, again.

Still nothing to show for my efforts but some blog posts. I like to think it’s okay because I’m getting funnier, in spite of my occasional brush with darkness out here in SEA.

I applied for another crop of jobs last week. Nothing. It’s all the same recycled job postings that were there in January. So I am basically applying to be rejected by the same companies all over again. Fun.

I wish I knew how to do what I do all day and make money from it. All of my problems would be solved. No more pretending I like people. No more “networking.” No more masking. No more exhaustion that actively prevents me from writing and creating art. Just this, all day every day, for the rest of my life. I would be fine with that.

I thought about throwing in a random application for a Masters program at HKU. They would need to pay for literally everything though because I have no money for anything. Not school fees, not an apartment, nothing. I’m in the same position no matter where I move my piece on the board. Sucks.

I was feeling more motivated about it on Saturday morning. Now I don’t feel any motivation to do anything at all. I thought my depression would go away if I moved to the opposite side of the world, but it hasn’t gone anywhere. Some days I just get so lonely and overwhelmed here. I feel so lost. I don’t know who I am or what I want. I am just at the whim on the universe. I am not taking an active role in my own life at all. Honestly, I don’t think I even know how.

In the meantime, I am trying to make peace with things as they are. As I said the other day, I finally made peace with Bloody Mary’s. As we always knew, I was right and all of them were wrong. South Dakota people just enjoy being cruel for the sake of being cruel. They see someone out there doing something different and their first instinct is to burn the witch at the stake. That has literally nothing to do with me or my book. That state is just all bad vibes, all the time. It’s not about me.

I got rid of Andrew months ago, so that’s not an issue anymore. I’ve replaced him with true stories of ridiculous dates I’ve been out on with real men. Made peace with the deaths of Mad Dog, my dad, my aunt, my uncle, and my grandmother.

One thing I cannot make peace with is my living family. There is no peace to be made. It’s a source of constant struggle for me. I want to make peace with it, but I really struggle to accept how fucked up the situation is. It doesn’t help that my mom, grandmother, sisters and aunts basically stonewall me whenever I try to communicate. They really think they can just pretend nothing bad ever happened. They literally refuse to take any kind of accountability for anything. It is IMPOSSIBLE to communicate ANYTHING to them, at all. They will always DARVO me.

They still act like me moving abroad is the gravest crime ever to be committed on earth, which again, makes absolutely zero sense because my aunt literally lived here in Hong Kong for a year. You would think she would be happy for me or asking for pictures or checking in. But she doesn’t. It’s just… radio fucking silence from all of them. It’s so weird.

I swear it feels like leaving a cult, but I don’t know what cult it is or understand how it operates. I can only say that my cousins on my mom’s side are all also in the same situation where their parents are extremely controlling and keep them contained close to home in spite of the fact that they are all fully-grown adults. It’s weird. That whole family is weird. It’s only now that I am on the other side of the world, watching other people post pictures of their families visiting them, that I realize… that shit ain’t right.

I never speak to my dad’s side anymore. After he died, my aunt went full mask off and basically said, “You’re not my family anymore. I don’t want to spend time around you or invite you to things. I don’t want to deal with you at all.” Okay, crazy. I’m sure my Irish grandmother would love to see you treating your own blood relatives like that. I bet she’s really proud.

So yeah, I am definitely having a lot of trouble moving past the family stuff. As I’ve mentioned previously, I am the Family Scapegoat, which means everyone treats me like a punching bag they can take out all their negative emotions on. This is why nobody is happy for me and why they refuse to acknowledge my writing career. They don’t want me to succeed. They want me to fail so they can continue beating up on me. I refuse to accept that kind of treatment anymore, so they are vilifying me for walking away from it and setting up boundaries. It’s all very textbook for people with undiagnosed personality disorders.

I think it’s really hard knowing that they feel this way and act this way. I think I did something really brave by accepting a job on the other side of the world, getting on a plane to come here, and then sticking it out for the rest of the year when the job didn’t work out. I think it’s amazing that I’ve visited 12 countries, studied yoga in India and Bali, and lived in Bangkok and Hong Kong. I never, ever thought in a million years my life would look like this. This is everything I’ve ever dreamed of. And my family, the people who are supposed to be supportive and provide unconditional love, all hate me for it.

Why?

I have so much weighing on my mind right now. My date with the Russian was merely a distraction from all of this. Men are always just a distraction from all of this. They come and they go and, if we are lucky, they provide some entertainment along the way. That’s all we can hope for in this life. There’s no point in expecting anything more from any of them. Just get the story and leave. Don’t get attached. Don’t get hung up. Just take the story and leave.

I know I have this fantasy that if I go to Ireland to research my family history that I will find a new family that loves me and accepts me for who I am. I think this is very unrealistic. I should not go because I expect to find something or receive something in return. I should go because I want to spend my days unraveling old scrolls in the library just for the sake of learning and education. I’m setting myself up to fail by going there “for the people.” I should go for me, to find me, to learn to love me and understand who I am outside of my overly-controlling family.

Anyway, it’s not a good time right now. In addition to the housing crisis, now there is a fuel crisis affecting the entire country. All weekend my feed was dominated by footage of the protests across Ireland. I just felt like… maybe it’s not my time yet. Maybe I have more to learn out here in SEA before I go there.

I don’t know. I am so lost right now. I can’t pick a road to travel down. Some days I just want to go back to India to study more yoga. Some days I want to hop a flight to Vietnam or Cambodia. Some days I want to go to Ireland. Some days I want to dump off all my stuff at my brother’s apartment and just take a backpack all around Africa. Some days I just want to get married and have a nice apartment/condo/house/whatever to decorate. Some days I want to go to graduate school. I really am, as my AI-generated google search results say, “All Over The Place.”

Yeah, that’s exactly how I feel today: All Over the Place.

BLOG: To Market, To Market

Saturday. At the coffee shop.

The last few days haven’t been great, to be honest. I was feeling pretty low after what happened in the Mid-Levels earlier this week. Who wouldn’t be, right?

You get on a plane, you fly to the other side of the world expecting to live your dream life, and then it all keeps going hilariously wrong instead. Good thing I’m a writer, or I would be crying to my family and begging them to let me come home. I’m not about that life. I will survive.

Instead I made a decision to be pro-active and not cave into the inevitable bed rot. I spent the whole of yesterday deep cleaning my apartment. Just dropped off another load of laundry at the Chinese Laundry Service on the corner so everything will be clean. Made some spicy noodles, drank some tea, ate some snacks. Slept in my freshly-laundered sheets and blankets. Definitely feeling somewhat better about life today.

I know it’s okay because the song on the delivery’s guy street speaker is Linger by the Cranberries. LOL. It’s… a long story, LOL. This is actually a South Dakota moment, not an Irish moment. It’s a “I’m finally at peace with my book about Bloody Mary’s Bar” moment. We have waited many years for this. Let’s soak it up while it lasts.

Anyway, back to the present. We don’t live that sad little small town life anymore. We live the Big SEA life, which is much more exciting. I get to do things like go to yoga school in Bali and spend the night in Thai airport jail and go on dates to the Mandarin Oriental with crazy hot Russian guys and receive late invitations to the fabulous Emerald Ball in Bangkok.

As for the Bloody Mary’s Krewe? Well, I guess they’ll always have the oh-so-fond memory of Mad Dog and I smoking pot on the back patio while Sam the bar owner yells at us over whatever he’s in a bad mood about that day.

Hahahaha!

Okay, but for real, back to the present.

What is my plan for the day? Well, it’s market day, which means grocery shopping! Yay!

Get this: So I kept seeing memes about Hong Kong neighborhoods, and apparently my neighborhood is the Frenchiest neighborhood in HK. I did not know this. I kinda knew because I hear people on the street speaking French just as much as I hear English and Cantonese. I’ve seen some French spots around. I just didn’t realize my neighborhood was “The Spot” until last night when I typed in the word “French” into Google maps and my neighborhood lit up like the Fourth of July.

I discovered a new imported goods shop that deals exclusively in French products, including cheese, deli meats, and bakery items. Ummm, yes please!

Screw the bougie grocery store in the Mid-Levels! On top of everything else ridiculous that happened to me there, they also had the nerve to sell me not one, but two packages of moldy, rotten cheese, both of which were extremely overpriced. We are officially done with them forever. That is definitely a sign from the universe saying, “Stay away from the place! It’s no good for you!”

So today I’m going to check out the French shop instead. I’m very excited about it. In addition to fancy ramen noodles, I survive almost exclusively off of “snack trays” that usually incorporate a variety of fruit, cheese, nuts, and crackers. I checked out the prices online and the deals on some of my preferred items are much better than at the other Western grocery stores. I’ve tried three of them now and they are okay, just overpriced. I still prefer to buy some things at the Chinese shops, like fresh fruit,large packages of water, and household goods. But there are certain things that only the Western grocery stores have (such as the deli and bakery sections), and the quality is vastly different.

Otherwise, I have decided to make peace with the rats who have recently moved into the rooftop garden. They came with the change of the season. They did not used to be there. Now every night I go up there for a cigarette and I see them lurkin’ in the shadows, watching my every move, creeping around so they can grab some rice out of the communal food bowl the building owners leave out every day for the birds.

At first, I was freaked out. It’s not that I am afraid of rats, it’s just that I’ve never forgotten about the time they wiped out 2/3rds of Europe’s population with the Black Plague. I also haven’t forgotten my encounters with the GIANT rats of New Orleans (locally known as “Quarter Cats” because they are so well-fed), nor my encounters with the New York City rats, who are aggressive enough to run straight at you in an effort to try to scare you enough to drop your pizza on the ground. Luckily, Hong Kong rats are neither scarily large, nor scarily aggressive. It seems like they prefer to sneak around unnoticed and hide in plain sight.

Last night I was out there smoking and I caught one of the rats watching me from the safety of one of the plants. It was actually kind of cute. I realized it was more afraid of me than I am of it, and we should be okay as long as we keep a safe distance of six feet of space from each other at all times.

As I made peace with the rooftop rats, I stood up to go back inside. I could smell a very familiar scent coming from the entry way, signaling to me that my cute neighbor was there. So I knew he was there, and I expected to see him standing there, and he still scared the shit out of me anyway! I swear to you, he did it on purpose!

It used to be that he and I would startle each other by accident, but now I think he is doing it intentionally for a laugh. I mean… it was kind of funny. I literally knew he was there and he still got me! Like, bro, why didn’t you just come out into the garden and say hello like you usually do?

I realized then… I gotta watch out more for this guy than I do for the rats. He’s the one that’s gonna get me when I least expect it. Not that I would really mind if he randomly backed me into the elevator and started making out with me… he is a sexy beefcake, after all! And he’s got the sexy British-Hong Konger accent.

Last night he was making fun of the way I say “laundry.” Prior to this jump scare incident, I ran into him in the hallway and told him I was on my way to pick up my laundry. He laughed as he walked away and kept repeating “LAN-dree, LAN-dree” with like some weird Southern drawl on the end of it. Like maybe he was trying to do a Texas accent or something. He just thought it was the funniest thing how I said “laundry.”

I don’t get it, but okay. And then we get the jump-scare a couple hours later. Okay, okay, let’s just makeout on the rooftop already and get it out of your system. Then you can pull a Russian guy and just go back to your real life while pretending literally none of it ever happened.

He also came out of a different apartment than the one I’ve seen him coming out of before. Did he switch apartments? Is that why I keep seeing that random Chinese girl walk into the one that I thought was his? Does this Airbnb host just play musical chairs with their studios and keep moving us around at their convenience? What is happening over here?

Anyway, I was annoyed with him because I actually wanted to ask him a legitimate question and I forgot. I want to ask him what he knows about The Wolf and The Sketchy Place. Surely he has some information I need. I will make sure I remember to ask next time he jumps out of the stairwell and scares the crap out of me.

Well, that’s about all I have to say for now. Off to the market. Have a good day!

BLOG: This Is Not Normal

Wednesday in Hong Kong. Looks like it might rain soon. Luckily I managed to rescue my umbrella from the bar now known as “The Sketchy Place.”

This story is not-so-fun. Get ready. It might be triggering if you’ve ever been drugged at a bar before.

A few weeks back, I mentioned a story where I was walking home from the fancy grocery store up in the Mid-Levels and was roped into this random bar by the MAusGA. As you may recall, I blacked out there and can’t remember how I got home. I really thought it was just me not handling my wine, but the other night brought this theory into question.

Here’s the timeline:

  1. Met the MAusGa’s at The Sketchy Place, which is allegedly a small neighborhood bar frequented by the wealthy business class of the Mid-Levels.
  2. Finance Bro I met that night invited me for Happy Hour at a different bar, which I will call “The Wolf” after The Wolf of Wall Street. As you may recall, this “date” ended with him offering me a line of coke off of a dirty bar toilet and groping me behind the bar in front of the entire staff.
  3. Made a new friend that night, who is Irish and here on a long-stay work exchange with his company in Dublin. I met up with him a second time at The Sketchy Place. Nothing shady or questionable occurred.
  4. Fast-forward to Monday night, when I was back up in the Mid-Levels at this same bougie grocery store that I’m starting to suspect might actually suck.
  5. I walked down the same route, and one of the MAusGA’s from the first night was sitting outside The Sketchy Place. Pretty sure it was the same guy who roped me in the first time. It was definitely the same guy who I mentioned I saw mean-mugging me from a distance when I walked by The Wolf. He invited me in, but I only agreed because I saw my Irish friend there. I invited my other friend to meet me there as well. You know, for “networking,” as they say.
  6. Everything was normal until my other friend arrived. This is when I blacked out, again. I literally have no memory of anything that transpired after this. No memory. I don’t remember leaving, I don’t remember walking home, nothing. I definitely don’t remember how I fucked up my knees and elbows, or why my shoulder is suddenly in so much pain.
  7. I woke up the next day to messages from both of my friends in a panic. They told me I disappeared and neither of them could find me. Then my lady friend told me the same MAusGA guy was creeping on her hardcore and trying to get her to go home with him. She couldn’t find me, so she left and got home safe. Both of my friends were seriously, legitimately concerned for my safety.
  8. Are the alarm bells going off in your head yet?

Right. Yeah. If they’re not, they should be.

I told my bartender friend about this incident last night and she also freaked out. She was like, “Wait a minute. That’s not right. I’ve seen you drunk before. You’ve never blacked out here, have you?”

“No, just at the Sketchy Place.”

“And it happened to you twice in the span of a couple of weeks?”

“Right.”

“And you’ve already said that you’ve had problematic interactions involving drugs with the regulars there before?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, yeah, don’t go there again. I know that place you’re talking about. The vibe is very off there. I don’t like the bartenders. They seem sketchy. Just don’t go back there.”

I sat and thought about it for a moment before I remembered the day I was up on the rooftop and watched an obvious dealer lurk around outside. He was shaking hands with a lot of business types on their way home from work, if you know what I’m saying.

So yeah, not really too far out of the ordinary to think there might be something shady going on up there. So much for “networking” and “rubbing shoulders with the elite.”

As I’ve stated before, if this is the kind of crap people are doing to get ahead and stay ahead in that world, I want absolutely no part of it whatsoever.

What am I going to do about what I’ve seen and now suspect I know? Oh, well, you know, after repeatedly reporting incidents like this while living in South Dakota and being treated like literal human garbage as a result, my plan is simply to write about it.

Obviously, this is the shittiest solution ever. But, really, what can I do? There are CCTV cameras everywhere. If the Chinese know this stuff is going on and turn a blind eye to it, what hope do I have?

Still, if it’s happening to me, it must be happening to other people as well. There’s never just one of us. Predators usually have an established pattern. I must be someone’s type, or whatever they think their type is: young, vulnerable, alone in the big city for the first time, lonely, isolated from family, few friends, no job, no safety net, no purpose or direction.

Ahhh, but what you don’t know about me is that I wield the most powerful weapon of all: the pen.

Anyway, yeah, so needless to say that between this incident and The Russian, I have decided to slow down on the so-called “networking.” It’s not working for me. I have made some actual friends, which is good! However, all of this is just too much for me. This “corporate finance tech bro culture” is so toxic and sickening. It’s just not… the vibe for me. Like at all.

Meanwhile, we never heard anything from The Russian ever again. He has officially disappeared off the face of Planet Earth. Grand! This means I can now write whatever the fuck I want to write and I don’t have to worry about him checking up on me or getting in my business or trying to derail the one thing that keeps me sane in this world. He’s gone full ghost mode and he still has more class than the jerks from Bloody Mary’s Bar back in South Dakota. Love that for him!

My friend told me last night that I shouldn’t have texted him the paragraphs. I disagree. The paragraphs were not about my feelings. The paragraphs were summarizing what I’ve already said here and other jokes I planned to make. I sent that to cover my own ass and show that I did inform him. Just in case of any legal entanglements that may potentially arise…

My friend specifically said, “Don’t message him anymore. You’re giving away all your power. He has all the power now.”

I mean… does he really, though? He’s the punchline of my latest joke. Whatever power he thinks he has over me is purely in his mind. Frankly, if all he wants is power, then he can be all alone with his power. I don’t give a fuck. I’ll take my jokes about scorpion mating rituals and bad James Bond films and continue living my life the way I please.

I don’t think he ever really had the power. I just kinda let him pretend he did because it was fun. Deep down I think we all know I analyzed this situation with a clear, sober mind and thought, “Fuck yeah I want to stay in the Mandarin Oriental for a night on someone else’s dime. Show me the bathtub!”

This is why I say… next time, I’m using the bathtub. I don’t give a fuck what he says. I’m doing it anyway. Just like I’m doing with my writing right now. What is he going to do? Cancel me? Ha!

So… what’s on the menu for today? Oh nothing, just going through all of my finances and crying because I can’t make Ireland work right now. I can’t make anything work right now. But hey, at least I have some great stories to tell from my time in SEA! That’s all that really matters, right? Right!

Off now!

And always remember: safety first!

That means…

If I don’t update this blog or my social media for 48 hours straight, call in Liam Neeson.

I am literally not even joking right now.

SCRIPT: Under Surveillance

Disclaimer: This Story is a Work of Fiction, Except for the Parts that Aren’t.

EXT: Daytime — A busy street in Bangkok, Thailand.

A short man with dark hair and a designer messenger bag strapped to his chest hops on a scooter and takes off across town. The scenery changes from local Thai apartments covered in hanging gardens to luxury high-rise condos surrounded by luxury malls to a suburban-style gated community full of large, spacious villas that require staff for upkeep. The guard checks the man’s ID and waves him through the gate. He eventually arrives at his intended destination and parks the scooter outside of an especially lovely-looking villa. As he makes his way towards the front door, a hurried-looking old man in a suit, clearly the BUTLER, comes rushing out the front door.

BUTLER: What are you doing here, Billy? Mr. Antony specifically commanded you not to come here. You know he doesn’t approve of riff raff like you anywhere near his family’s home.

BILLY: [nonchalantly pulls a flash drive out of his bag] Ah, yes, about that. I have some information he wants. It was far too important to be delayin’ now.

BUTLER: What is this regarding?

BILLY: The documents he requested regarding the Lady Elizabeth Catherine from the House of Horton.

BUTLER: Who?

BILLY: Better known by her pen name… Ms. Betsey Horton, Writer Extraordinaire?

BUTLER: And you’re certain this is important enough to visit the house for?

BILLY: Oh, yes. He’s going to want to hear this story. Trust me.

BUTLER: Very well, Billy. I’ll let Mr. Antony know you’re here. Please, wait outside.

BILLY stands outside on the front steps waiting as the gardening crew take turns giving him disapproving looks. He puts his hands in his pockets and starts whistling an old Irish hymn. A few minutes later, the front doors burst open. A handsome gentleman in his 40’s with dark hair and eyes like a storm at sea sticks his head out and glares at BILLY.

ANTONY: I told you to use the back door so no one would see you! Eejit!

BILLY: Well, top o’ the morning to you too.

ANTONY: Get the hell in this house right now before anyone else sees you! You’re lucky my wife isn’t home today!

ANTONY grabs BILLY by the arm and pulls him inside the house. He looks both ways outside before slamming the doors shut. He gives BILLY an annoyed look before leading him to the study, or as we say in the post-pandemic era, the home office. He is just about to slam the door before the BUTLER puts his hand out to stop it.

ANTONY: What is it, Jeeves? What do you want?!

BUTLER: Sorry, sir, just wanting to know if you’ll be needing any tea?

ANTONY: For god’s sake, man, this is no time for tea!

BILLY: You’re right. Better make it a whiskey. You’re going to need it after hearing this.

ANTONY: Very well. Make it a whiskey.

BILLY: Oh, and get us the good stuff, Jeeves. From the family’s private stock!

ANTONY gives BILLY a loathsome look and mutters something under his breath. He exchanges a look with the BUTLER but nods anyway. The BUTLER leaves and returns with the fancy whiskey. They wait until he is gone from the room before speaking to each other again.

ANTONY: Go on now, speak your peace. What did you discover about our Posh Irish-American Lady Friend running around with all that riff raff down by the docks?

BILLY: Generally harmless, as you suspected. She’s just another rich girl out here blowing her inheritance on some kind of Eat, Pray, Love journey. Travels a lot. LA, New York, London, Paris, Dubai, Doha, India, Hong Kong, Bali, Kuala Lumpur. She has a big thing for New Orleans in particular.

ANTONY: New Orleans?

BILLY: That’s right. New Orleans. There’s a large Irish population there.

ANTONY: Interesting. Who does she work for?

BILLY: She doesn’t work, for anyone, or at all in general, as far as I can tell. Her Daddy was taking care of her until he died. She just writes in her little blog and thinks it will make her a real author some day.

ANTONY: Yes, yes, we knew all of that. Tell me what else you found.

BILLY: Now, that’s the interesting part. She herself is not that interesting, but her collection of ex-lovers are.

ANTONY: Go on.

BILLY takes out the flash drive again and hands it over to ANTONY. ANTONY looks at it as if it is a piece of kryptonite glowing in his hand. He downs his glass of whiskey and immediately pours another one before plugging the flash drive into his desktop computer. He sits down in his chair as BILLY stands behind him and begins navigating the file with the mouse. He pulls up a video showing a montage of the writer in question making out with four different men in the same elevator over a period of four months. The first man featured is none other than ANTONY himself.

BILLY: Look, there you are!

ANTONY grabs the mouse and fast-forwards through his section of the montage. He pauses it when the next man comes up to look at his face.

BILLY: That’s the Englishman she was crying over the night you met her. You can see here he visited her there at least twice. I also got footage of them in the bar together from back in August. You can see they didn’t talk for very long before leaving together.

ANTONY: Who is he?

BILLY: No one, really. Just some freelance web developer guy who got roped into taking care of a local water buffalo farm.

ANTONY: [scoffs and shakes his head as he continues moving the cursor through the video] And who is this one?

BILLY: Ah, Panama Guy. I also have footage of her in the condo building down the street the same night, and at the bar all week. He’s some American military contractor type on vacation. Not in town long.

ANTONY: And this one?

BILLY: That’s her Mexican Guy. It was easy to track him down. He’s just some cruise ship sound tech guy. Also on vacation.

ANTONY: Also a no one. You came all this way to waste my time for THIS?!

BILLY: Now, now, calm yourself down there, buddy boy. There’s more.

BILLY clicks out of the montage and pulls up a new file. It’s a whole folder with the designated name, “Indian Guy.” BILLY opens it to reveal a series of photos of a young, handsome Indian man shaking hands with some of the biggest BJP Party leaders in India today. A video clip shows him riding in a brand-new Jeep with party flags being waved through a highway checkpoint somewhere outside of New Delhi. There is also a series of photographs of his mother, a former politician for the BJP Party, engaged in various political activities, surrounded by the same prominent collection of leaders. ANTONY stares at the computer screen in horror as his jaw drops open.

BILLY: According to her blog, this was the man she was engaged to marry.

ANTONY: Did she know about this when she entered into the agreement?

BILLY: I don’t think she did, no. It’s hard to say. It’s hard to tell what she knows, what she’s pretending to know, and what she doesn’t know. She’s a very good bullshitter. Americans are like that, ya know.

ANTONY: She told me she met him at a yoga retreat.

BILLY: She did. I believe she fell for Ye Olde Indian Marriage Scamme.

ANTONY: That’s… actually pretty sad.

BILLY: It really is.

ANTONY: She must be very lonely.

BILLY: She is.

ANTONY: How do you know that?

BILLY: I’ve been watching her Instagram stories the last few days.

ANTONY: I see. And just how many more of these gentlemen are there?

BILLY: See, now that’s where the story gets interesting. Everything I just showed you? That’s just from this year. The Personal Data Package I paid for got me the password to her blog archives. I could see everything she has hidden on there. Her website is ten years old! There’s thousands of stories on there.

ANTONY: Thousands?

BILLY: That’s right. Thousands.

ANTONY: And what about this other bar? This Bloody Mary’s place? What did you find out about this Andrew character?

BILLY moves the mouse and clicks on the file labeled “Bloody Mary’s.” A photo of a dingy old dive bar with a distinctly Irish name flashes up on the screen. It is followed by photos of the town of Vermillion and the University of South Dakota. A montage of photos shows Betsey Horton sitting in the bar with a frail old man wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses, laughing as the handsome bartender looks on from afar with a saddened look. The next photo shows her and the bartender looking directly at each other from across the room, holding their gaze on each other a little too long to be considered proper or appropriate.

ANTONY: Is that her Andrew?

BILLY: Yes, sir. That’s her Andrew.

ANTONY: What did you get on him?

BILLY: His real name is [redacted]. He’s Big Money. Wife is a Doctor. He just sold the bar last year. Moved to a different state with his family. Here they are now.

The image on the screen changes to a wholesome family photo taken in front of a beautiful restored farm house out in a random field somewhere. ANTONY looks it over and makes a face.

ANTONY: She said they weren’t together. What did you find out?

BILLY: Again, it’s hard to say. What I can tell you is that she was writing stories about him and the bar every day for about two years before it became a ‘problem’ and he banned her for life from the bar.

ANTONY: Because of the stories, not because they had a relationship?

BILLY looks ANTONY up and down and clicks his tongue.

BILLY: I don’t know about that one, Boss. Like I said, it’s very hard to say. But I can show this video, which was taken about two years after she was banned.

BILLY pulls up another montage. This one shows Betsey sitting at a proper Irish Pub down the street, playing bar games with a bunch of local townie riff raff and taking way too many shots. By the end of the montage, she is clearly not herself anymore. She disappears from the bar and reappears in the next scene on police bodycam footage, standing behind Bloody Mary’s, clearly drunk out of her right mind and sporting purple hair.

OFFICER: Ma’am, we received a report that you were out her vandalizing the bar.

BETSEY: I’m just writing in my notebook.

OFFICER: Can we check the contents of your bag, ma’am?

Betsey sits down on the ground and promptly starts removing a pile of notebooks, folders, pens, and devices from her large suitcase-like bag. Even in her clearly blackout state, she still takes the time to explain the contents of each folder. The officers can be heard on the police-cam footage exchanging the following words:

OFFICER 1: I don’t see any spray paint in there. No chalk, no nothing. There’s no graffiti on the fence or the sidewalk or anywhere. I don’t see anything like the call we received.

OFFICER 2: No, the call clearly stated she was out her writing graffiti. I don’t see anything like that. It must be someone making a false report.

OFFICER 1: She is very drunk though.

OFFICER 2: Yeah.

OFFICER 1: Okay, ma’am, ma’am, it’s time for you to go home now. Can we take you home?

BETSEY: No, it’s fine, I’ll just get back there myself. Thank you!

The bodycam footage shuts off. The two sit together in silence for a moment.

ANTONY: Is there more?

BILLY: Oh, there’s more.

Right at the moment, the BUTLER knocks on the door and sticks his head into the study.

BUTLER: Sir, your appointment is here.

ANTONY looks at the computer, looks at the BUTLER, looks at BILLY, looks back at the computer, and then looks back at the BUTLER.

ANTONY: Cancel my meeting, Jeeves. It turns out this is an emergency after all.

BUTLER: But sir-

ANTONY: Don’t argue with me, Jeeves. Just go and get us another bottle of whiskey. The good kind this time, please.

BILLY: Ah, I knew ya had it in ya!

ANTONY: Shut up, Billy. Jeeves, the whiskey!

BUTLER: As you say, sir.

The BUTLER leaves again and returns with a second, better-quality bottle of whiskey. ANTONY practically grabs it out of his hands and pours himself a stiff glass before the next video plays.

BILLY: So this one was taken about two years after that one.

ANTONY watches as Betsey walks up outside the bar and sets up a bright pink fold-up chair in the middle of the street outside. The street has been blocked off to make outdoor seating for the pandemic. She sits downs in the chair, takes out her notebook and starts scribbling away with a smile on her face. In the background, he can see a crowd gathering inside the bar by the window, making a big commotion about her presence. In the next clip they watch as two police officers dressed in full military riot gear run up the sidewalk and grab her. They watch her fighting back with every ounce of her being as they drag her inside the police vehicle. Andrew steps outside the bar and starts ranting at the police officer about how she has been trespassed from the property. Inside the vehicle, they can see Betsey screaming as she tries to pull her wrists out of the handcuffs.

BETSEY: LET ME GO! LET ME FUCKING GO! THIS IS A VIOLATION OF MY FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS TO FREEDOM OF SPEECH, FREEDOM OF PRESS, AND FREEDOM OF ASSEMBLY TO AIR MY GRIEVANCES AGAINST THIS FUCKED UP BULLSHIT! YOU CAN’T DO THIS! YOU DIDN’T READ ME MY MIRANDA RIGHTS OR TELL ME WHY I AM BEING DETAINED. I WANT TO TALK TO MY LAWYER! GET ME MY LAWYER! GET ME MY FUCKING LAWYER RIGHT NOW! AHHHHHHHHH!!!! I WANT MY LAWYER!

BILLY watches as ANTONY’s jaw drops to the floor in total and complete shock. He pauses the video right at the perfect moment to capture Betsey’s face looking like a wild, wild cat howling at the moon.

ANTONY: Woah.

BILLY: [cheerfully] See, I told ya she was Irish!

ANTONY: [downs another glass of whiskey and pours them both another] Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. She’s Irish, alright.

BILLY: I respect her. She’s got that Irish fire inside. That lass wasn’t about to go down without a proper fight. I respect the fuck outta her for that.

ANTONY: And what became of this mess?

BILLY: According to the court documents, her daddy bailed her out. Again.

ANTONY: And how many times has he done that?

BILLY: Well, that’s the thing. She’s a good girl otherwise. Generally well-behaved. A right proper Lady, I would say, as she was raised to be. The only other thing I could find in the police files was this.

BILLY pulls up a series of PDF’s detailing the arrest of a man for assaulting Betsey. His identification page shows him to be the spoiled, arrogant son of a local businessman and politician. The police report describes an encounter where Betsey’s “sometimes boyfriend” threw her across the room into a wall during an argument they had while lying in bed naked together. The file includes a medical report taken from the hospital that morning, a protection order, and a court report detailing the case being dropped due to Rich White Male Privilege.

ANTONY: Wow. She really knows how to pick ’em, huh?

BILLY: So it would seem.

ANTONY: And what else is there?

BILLY pulls up the last file, labeled “Mental Health Report.”

BILLY: Some of this was harder to find, but I managed. It’s all from before she turned 21. She was hospitalized for multiple suicide attempts as a teenager and drugged up on pharmaceuticals for several years before and after. It seemed to stop when she became an adult, because there’s no records of her receiving any kind of significant treatment for any mental health conditions after she turned 22. Apparently she’s a yoga teacher now.

ANTONY: I see. And you’re telling me this is everything you were able to find out about this woman? There’s nothing more?

BILLY: Eh, a couple more boyfriends here and there. Most recently, a rich married guy who she helped get a divorce, a New York Times bestselling author who owns a restaurant she used to work at, and a secret one I couldn’t find any information about. Less recently, an older guy who took advantage of her when she was young, one of her teachers, some asshole who cheated on her a bunch of times and left her unable to love anyone the same way ever again.

ANTONY: I see. Sad.

BILLY: And what say you about this information, sir?

ANTONY: I’m not sure what to say right now, Billy. Thank you for bringing me this information. I’ll forgive your unwelcome intrusion into the family household. For now. Don’t think you’re welcome back here again.

BILLY: And what is it you intend to do, sir?

ANTONY: I have no idea. Just… mind after her for now.

BILLY: Pardon me for saying so, sir, but you know I have my own sick water buffalo to tend to at home. I can’t just be minding after your girlfriends for free.

ANTONY scoffs and rolls his eyes. He gets up from the desk, walks over to the bookshelf and pulls out the book that opens the secret door to the safe. He grabs a duffle bag full of cash and throws it at BILLY.

ANTONY: That should be enough to cover the cost of the data file your purchased, the information you brought me today, and whatever future work you do.

BILLY: As you say, sir. Thank you, sir. I won’t be disappointing you now, sir.

ANTONY: Just get out, Billy. You’ve given me enough information for today.

BILLY: Just one last thing, sir. The Lady herself requested I ask you one thing.

ANTONY: Oh? And what is that?

BILLY: [pulls out a post-it note from his messenger bag and clears his throat] “How does it feel to cancel a meeting to deal with me?”

ANTONY immediately freezes and looks up at BILLY in shock as the realization slowly washes over him that he’s been had.

BILLY: [smirks and looks back down at the post- it note] The Lady suggests that next time, you schedule an appointment specifically for her in order to avoid any unwelcome intrusions into your private time.

ANTONY: GET OUT!

BILLY laughs, folds up the note, and sticks it back into his bag. He finishes his whiskey, puts his hands in his pockets, and whistles as he walks out of the villa and back to his bike. He barely registers the sound of the door slamming behind him as he goes. He gets on his scooter with his giant bag of money and takes off into the mountains far away.

The End

SCRIPT: Bloody Mary’s — The Zequel

EXT: A rainforest somewhere in Southeast Asia.

A naive British explorer has been separated from his tour group on a hike and found himself lost and alone in the treacherous jungle. As darkness begins to fall, he searches for safe refuge from the many dangers around him. As he passes by a waterfall, he catches a glimpse of something gold and shiny at the top of the cliff. He climbs the rocks, following the light, hoping it will lead him to safety. As he walks behind the waterfall, he discovers a cave with a pile of gold sitting right at the entrance. He immediately forgets all logic and reason and reaches for the gold. The gold immediately turns to dust in his hand.

Suddenly, he hears a loud roar coming from somewhere deep inside the save. A fire ignites and lights up the cave around him. As he looks around in awe at the endless treasures lining the cave, a shadow appears on the wall behind him. He turns around to see an angry dragon staring right at him.

DRAGON: Who are you and why are you here?

EXPLORER: You can talk?

DRAGON: Ugh, of course we can talk. You humans are so arrogant. You forgot the language of nature long ago. Everything around you can talk. You just don’t bother to listen or understand.

EXPLORER: Uhhh… I’m sorry?

DRAGON: Why are you here?

EXPLORER: I’m sorry. I didn’t realize this was your cave. I got lost in the forest and needed a safe place to camp for the night.

DRAGON: I don’t see your camping gear. All I see is the pile of dust in your hand. You’re just here to steal my treasure, aren’t you?

EXPLORER: I’m not, I just—

DRAGON: Saw the gold, couldn’t resist, blah blah blah, heard it all before. Give me one reason why I shouldn’t devour you right now and save the leftovers for my midnight snack.

EXPLORER: Easy. I have yet to accomplish my greatest life dream.

DRAGON: Oh? You have a dream, do you? Well, I can grant you your wish on the condition you don’t steal my treasure.

EXPLORER: That sounds reasonable. We have a deal.

DRAGON: Well, go on then, what’s your wish?

EXPLORER: I wish I could go to America and go to a shitty little dive bar in a small town in the middle of nowhere and just drink a Coors and play pool with the locals.

DRAGON: Seriously? You humans are soooooo uncreative. The guy before you said he wanted to own his own business and you just want to go to a bar.

EXPLORER: I already have my own business.

DRAGON: I see. Well, if that is your wish, it is my command.

The Dragon snaps its fingers. The cave goes dark again. When the Explorer wakes up again, he finds himself on a bench outside of a little bar called Bloody Mary’s. The Explorer gasps, recognizing the name immediately.

EXPLORER: This is the bar from Betsey Horton’s story. I know this place. That must mean I’m in South Dakota! At last, my dream has finally come true!

The Explorer opens the door and walks into the bar. As soon as he steps foot inside, everyone in the room immediately stops what they’re doing and turns around to look at him. He can feel everyone staring at him as he walks past the regulars lined up at the bar. He takes a seat at the end of the bar next to a bald old man wearing sunglasses and nursing a Budweiser. A very handsome but weary-looking bartender appears to greet him.

BARTENDER: What’ll it be for you, Jack?

EXPLORER: I wish to have a Coors, please.

The Bartender makes a disgusted face and rolls his eyes.

BARTENDER: So you enjoy cat piss, do you?

EXPLORER: I’ve never had a Coors. I’ve only seen Americans drinking it on the Telly back home in England. Is this what proper Americans drinking at an establishment such as this?

BARTENDER: No, we prefer PBR here. That being said, may I offer to upgrade you for free since you’re clearly not from around these parts?

EXPLORER: Uh, alright, sure.

The Bartender grabs a can of Modelo from the fridge and a chilled glass. He garnishes it with a lime and places it in front of the Explorer.

EXPLORER: This is a Mexican beer.

BARTENDER: This is my favorite beer. It’s on the house. Enjoy!

The Explorer takes a sip and shrugs, unsure of how he feels about the bartender’s choice. He nurses it slowly as he looks around the room. He sees a pool table, a giant Elk head with a cigarette in its mouth mounted above the bar, various old photos and little tchotchkes decorating the wall. He tries to ignore the fact that everyone in the bar is still staring at him with wide eyes.

BARTENDER: So, what brings you here all the way from England?

EXPLORER: You know, it’s just the funniest story. I was living in Bangkok and I met this American woman at a bar that looks very similar to this one. She told me she was a writer and had written a book about this place. She told me the owner banned her for life because of the stories she wrote. Personally, I thought the stories were quite charming and amusing. Not really sure what this owner chap was going on about. She told me he had her arrested for sitting on the sidewalk and writing in her notebook. Is that true?

BARTENDER: Uhh… well, you know, she was a threat to him.

EXPLORER: I mean, but what she really though? Or were you just acting delusional, deranged, and unhinged? Tell me, what harm has actually come to you from these stories?

BARTENDER: Well, when you put it that way…

EXPLORER: I thought you had freedom of speech here. You can’t just arrest someone because you don’t like what they wrote about you.

BARTENDER: Right.

EXPLORER: Anyway, I just couldn’t resist coming all the way here to see it for myself. The stories she told me were just… wow.

The Bartender’s face goes white as a ghost. The old man sitting next to the Explorer immediately swivels his chair around and looks him up and down. An eerie silence falls over the crowd.

BARTENDER: You came all the way here from Thailand just because this writer told you to?

EXPLORER: Yes, that is correct.

BARTENDER: And what did you say this writer’s name was again?

EXPLORER: Betsey Horton.

The crowd gasps. The Bartender’s mouth drops open in horror. A huge, yellow, toothy grin spreads across the old man’s face. He starts cackling loudly and turns back to the Bartender.

OLD MAN: Hey Andrew! I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so. What do you think of your ol’ pal Mad Dog now? I sure know how to pick ‘em!

The Bartender’s face contorts as the realization finally washes over him. this is exactly the thing he has feared the most for almost a decade. Now, it has finally come to fruition.

ANDREW (THE BARTENDER): Betsey Horton…

MAD DOG (THE OLD MAN): That’s right. Betsey Horton! Betsey Horton! Betsey Horton!

ANDREW: Don’t do that! If you say her name three times in front of the mirror, she’ll appear behind you and put a curse on you forever!

DISEMBODIED VOICE: Did somebody say my name?

ANDREW: Oh Christ, now you’ve done it.

Andrew slowly turns around and sees none other than Betsey Horton standing right behind him. He screams and jumps back in terror at the sight of the fearsome ghost from his past.

BETSEY: Hello, darling. Miss me yet?

Both the Explorer and Mad Dog snicker as Andrew takes off running from behind the bar, out the front door, and off screaming into the night, never to be seen or heard from ever again.

BETSEY: Well, I guess I’ll be the Celebrity Bartender today. Anyone need a drink?

EXPLORER: Yes, please. This Mexican beer reminds me too much of your former lover. I wish to try a Coors instead.

BETSEY: Why are you drinking that cat piss? May I offer to upgrade you for free instead?

EXPLORER: I suppose.

Betsey pours a bit of orange juice into a glass and pours a Blue Moon from the tap.

EXPLORER: This is a Belgian beer.

BETSEY: Welcome to America!

EXPLORER: Please, I really wish to just try a Coors. Just once. I’ve seen it on the Telly and I just…

BETSEY: Alright, fine. Here’s you can of cat piss. Enjoy.

The Explorer takes a sip and makes a disgusted face.

EXPLORER: Wow, it really does taste like cat piss.

BETSEY: Be careful what you wish for!

The End

SCRIPT: Lisa

Once upon a time, Bloody Mary’s Bar was owned by a woman. This woman is the most badass motherfucker in all of the bar’s history. This is the completely made-up version of her life story, as told by a writer who totally embarrassed herself after waiting years to finally meet this person.

EXT: Outer Space. A lone spaceship hurdles towards Earth at an alarmingly fast speed. It enters the Earth’s atmosphere and heads straight for South Dakota. The subsequent montage of scenes unfold as the Narrator describes them.

Narrator: A long time ago, in a galaxy not-so-far away, an alien baby was sent to Earth to collect data on human beings. A little girl named Lisa saw the bright lights in the sky and watched in awe as the mysterious unidentified object in the sky crash landed in a field near her house. Letting her curiosity get the better of her, Lisa wandered out into the field to investigate. There she discovered the wrecked space ship with a tiny baby inside. She took the baby home to her family, who adopted him and raised him as one of their own. From that day on, the alien vowed to someday return the favor.

Thirty-some odd years later…

A white Cadillac with chromed-out spinners on the wheels speeds down a dirt road towards an abandoned farmhouse. Three men in cowboy hats stand outside waiting. The Cadillac pulls up in front of them. Out steps a young woman dressed in all black carrying a suitcase. She flips her hair back as she adjusts her designer sunglasses. She opens the suitcase to reveal the cash inside.

Lisa: Is that enough for you boys?

The men look at each other and shrug.

Man 1: It’s more than enough. Unfortunately, you are a woman. Therefore, you will never be good enough to run Bloody Mary’s Bar.

Man 2: Why don’t you just get married and have babies like a real woman is supposed to do?

Man 3: Yeah!

Lisa: What the hell? I thought we had a deal! You said you respected me as an equal! Why are you backing out now?

Man 1: Well, we talked it over with a bunch of other men and all of us agree we’re scared of women with power and influence, especially you.

Man 2: The thing is… Bloody Mary’s is a working man’s bar. If we sell it to you, you’ll destroy the integrity of it for future generations to come. That’s why we can’t sell you the bar. We just don’t trust a woman to run it. You might let your crazy, irrational lady emotions and stuff get in the way.

Lisa: Wow. What a bunch of bullshit!

All three men suddenly pull guns on Lisa. She gasps in horror as she realizes she’s been betrayed.

Man 1: We’re sorry, but we can’t sell you the bar.

Man 2: We still want the money though. That’s why we lured you out here to an abandoned farmhouse where no one will hear you scream.

Man 3: Now you will die.

Dramatic music plays as the men start to close in on Lisa. Luckily, right at that moment, the alien appears to save the day. He jumps out of the trunk of the car and shoots each man in the head. Lisa grabs the suitcase full of money and gets in the passenger seat of the car. The alien throws a timed explosive device at the farmhouse and jumps into the driver’s seat. He puts it in reverse, does a donut, and takes off at full speed. They are less than a mile away from the farmhouse when in explodes into flames. Lisa clutches the suitcase to her chest and takes a deep breath as they make their escape.

Lisa: Thanks for rescuing me, Owl. I shouldn’t have come out here alone. I’m glad you showed away in the back to make sure I was safe.

The Owl: Anytime, sis. It’s the least I could do considering the fact that you saved my life once too.

Lisa: But the bar! What are we going to do about the bar?

The Owl: It’s already taken care of.

The Owl points to the glovebox. Lisa opens it and takes out a stack of documents. Everything appears to be in order. All she has to do is sign.

Lisa: Where did you get these?!

The Owl: I have my ways. And don’t worry about the murders. We’ve already taken care of those too.

Lisa smiles at him gratefully as they drive off into the sunset. Three weeks later, the body of the bar’s previous owner is found in a canyon somewhere out in Colorado, half-eaten by wolves. To this day, they’re still don’t know if it was a murder or a suicide.

The End