Saturday night. Post therapy session. I am exhausted.

I listened to Bob Marley for awhile and tried to meditate.

I had another memory surface. A big one. A memory involving a certain English teacher and Lacrosse coach. Oh yes, that one.

The whole story with that team. What a nightmare. The way they were passing these girls around. The coaches were involved. I have heard so many accounts now. I know I have to write the story. I know I have to name the names. I will not name the victims/survivors. But I have to name Him, and I was romanticizing Him for a veryyyy long time, and it was not good because now I understand that he was actually a creepy predator who was grooming me and he was also doing it to to other girls and none of it is okay!

Oh yeah, just wait. The avalanche is coming. The first rock has shaken loose. It’s coming. It’s all coming out, live on the internet in real time. Watch this blog because it’s happening live and it’s happening now.

I can’t write the story tonight. Because when I do, I have to name real names. It’s going to spread like wildfire. It’s going to start something big. I have to be ready for it. I have to prepare for whatever is coming back at me when I put that post out.

It’s fucking terrifying.

I decided to shelve the trauma for the night and put on Gossip Girl. This will ease the pain for me, as it always has. Serena and Georgina are the closest representations I’ve seen of Troubled Teens in that era. These characters remind me of my roommates in Dominion. Spoiled rich girls who were just running wild. I was so boring. Always trapped at home in my guilded prison. I lived vicariously through them. And then when I came to Vermillion… I became them. 😉

Oh Michelle, we loved you so much. I will miss seeing you pop up in all my favourite shows. Long live Georgina Sparks!

I’m okay. I’m finally finding my peace. I won’t be trapped in this prison anymore. The nightmare is finally going to end.

I’m so excited for the nightmare to finally come to an end…