Apparently I needed this prompt today?

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To Whom It May Concern,

You’re Welcome.

You can leave the gift basket by the door.

Sincerely,

Me.

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Dear Auntie,

This holiday season, the last thing I want to do is spend the day in another cold, sterile, boring, uninspiring space drinking shitty craft beer made in some local yokel’s basement. Thanks again for not inviting me to the super distant, hard-to-get-to, big holiday family event. Seriously, it’s fine. I really don’t want to be there anyway, I promise you. I’m so relieved we finally had this conversation. I’m totally fine with not seeing each other anymore. Thanks again! Have a great day!

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Dear America,

I hope you go out there tomorrow and grab the day by the pussy.

You deserve whatever you get. I don’t care anymore.

Goodbye!