Hope: I love your blog! I read it everyday! I know people think it’s crazy, but I love it! I’m your number one biggest fan!
Me: Aww, thank you.
Hope: Okay, wait, so which one is Andrew?
Me: That’s the Owner of Bloody Mary’s Bar. I have a fixation with him because he is a very sexy and mysterious character. He has inspired me to write many stories. That is why I go to great lengths to avoid him whenever I see him in real life.
Hope: And he’s the Turkey, right?
Hope: So who is the Snake?
Me: That’s also Andrew.
Hope: What about The Emperor?
Me: Andrew, again.
Hope: The Boss?
Me: That is definitely Andrew.
Hope: The Whoremonger?
Me: That used to be Andrew, but now it’s me. I’ve re-appropriated the name on behalf of The Movement.
Hope: Pretty Boy?
Hope: The Rooster?
Me: *giggles* Yes, please.
Me: That’s Andrew’s pornstar name.
Hope: The Next Great Playgirl Centerfold?
Me: For certain!
Hope: Alex? Sam? Diego? Mr. HGTV?
Me: All of those are Andrew. Diego is his painting name.
Hope: Jeez! How many names does this guy have?
Me: At least 16 others I can’t publish because they involve his real name. There’s no doubt in my mind there’s many more where those came from. And don’t forget his incarnation as a sexy Compliance Officer/Personal Trainer, Officer Andrew. He’s got the hat and everything!
Hope: I bet he does.