Currently staring out the window at yet another cloudy sky, trying desperately not to think about the fact that I’m not in Yellowstone right now. It’s not working, of course. I look out the window and an entire forest of trees springs up. A moose wanders out into a clearing and nods at me from a distance as if to say hello. I yank the reigns and my horse and I continue down the trail back to camp. Tourists pack the restaurant and share glorious tales of their travels as I fix them their post-adventure drinks. My Montana Dream once again disappears into thin air…
There are worse fates, of course. Still, I’m getting pretty fucking tired of the constant unemployment and hopping from one shitty job to the next. Alas. I am not special. I am but an easily-replaced cog in the machine and I must do as my corporate overlords say OR ELSE no healthcare for me. Oh wait, I didn’t have it anyway because these companies intentionally don’t hire full-time workers so they can avoid paying for benefits. It’s such a sick system we live in. I don’t know how much longer I can take it. I really do mean it when I say I’m ready to build a guillotine. I literally just cannot even!!!!
Lots of things to do today. It’s the same things I’ve been doing (cleaning, purging, organizing, coursework, writing, watching movies) over and over and over for two months. It’s starting to really suck, but I’m only saying that because I was literally supposed to be in Yellowstone two weeks ago. I should be riding a horse and taking pictures of that iconic waterfall right now! BUT NO! I’m trapped here with my stupid pile of Bloody Mary’s/Andrew crap. AGAIN! Just think of all of the amazing things I could be writing about instead. 🙁 🙁 🙁
I am re-starting my coursework again after abandoning it for a few weeks. Online classes are 100% not for me. They are not the way of the future. They are both an inconvenience and an annoyance, especially if you’re trying to build your own personal routine. Anyway, I stalled because I was waiting on news about my job, which I now have. The bad news once again forced me to come up with a brand new life plan, which has become second nature to me because none of my plans work out. My new new new life plan involves using my fabulous English/History/French degree instead of serving/bartending, so I’m beefing up my resume with certifications in stuff like digital marketing, proofreading, copywriting, legalese, and journalism to increase my chances of getting one of those “real jobs” that don’t even exist right now because there is literally no economy!
HA HA HA HA HA! I’m screwed no matter what I do! Being a Millennial is fun!
So that’s why that’s not getting done, lol. Really it’s because I’m just sitting in my house staring at the Nightmare Box waiting for Trump and his supporters to go full Jonestown on us with some fake Coronavirus cure. Between you and me, I really hope he saves it for that ridiculous Mt. Rushmore fireworks display they’re planning for Independence Day. Now THAT would make great reality television! People would be talking about it for CENTURIES! Can you even imagine?! I can, unfortunately, especially in South Dakota. Just call that poisoned drink concoction “Freedom Juice” and they will be chugging it harder than a freshman at a frat party.
I realize I don’t actually have to do this. Take the courses, I mean. I realize most people just lie on their resumes and have their friends cover for them. I guess the fact that I feel extremely uncomfortable lying on my resume says a lot about the type of person I am (an honest one?). I personally can’t stand people who pretend to be something they are not just to get ahead. Spend ten minutes with them and their lies become 100% obvious. People like that are straight-up just not the type of person I admire or respect.
I say this all the time, but it’s really sad that I live in a country that rewards people for lying, bullying, backstabbing, theft, and other forms of sociopathic behavior in the workplace. If I could just marry a rich guy and lock myself in my home office all day, every day and write write write, I would do it in a heartbeat. You know what they say! If you want to be a writer, you’ve gotta have money and a room of your own! Thanks for your wise words, VA Dubs!
[cut to shot of pretentious literary academics’ faces melting off at the sight of a writer casually referring to Virginia Woolf as VA Dubs]
I feel like all of my blogs are the same, which is too bad, but also a direct result of being locked in my apartment alone for two months (sans rich husband to support me) while watching helplessly as the entire world around me falls apart. Sigh.
I hate all of my writing right now. It sucks. But… ultimately… things are getting better in the world of Betsey Horton. At least, I hope they are. I have to believe that or I will literally go insane. I’m super not into the crazy vibe right now, especially because I know alcohol doesn’t actually fix that problem. I just want to be productive and successful, like most people.
Okay, well, I guess that’s my cue to sit in front of the computer working on my courses all day. I just want to make a significant enough dent in them that I don’t feel guilty for indulging in yet another Pinspired organization project. We’ll see how it goes.