BLOG: Still Kinda Blocked

Ahh… life. What is it if not routinely unstable, eh? Sometimes I ask myself, “Why do I still bother trying?” I have no idea, truly. I remain unconvinced that this life isn’t actually just a massive waste of time.

My prompt challenge got off the rails, of course, because my life suddenly upended itself. To the surprise of no one, I suddenly lost my job right before I was scheduled to work the entire weekend. Why? Because I asked for more hours. Seriously. At least, that is how it appears to me. He said “people complained,” but he did not go into details, signaling the fact that he was full of shit. Yeah, right, I’m bad at my job, which is how I’m averaging $100-$200/night in tips, something that does not happen when the customers hate you.

I can therefore only assume that the reason is because I am not a dudebro with a penis, and said establishment was strictly for DudeBro Boys Club Penis-Havers Only. I mean, what else am I supposed to think? If you’re not going to tell me what the problem is, or even warn me that there is one in the first place, then I can’t do anything to fix the problem. So, I’m gonna look at the amount of money I’m making and the creepy culture around me and put two and two together. This person is delusional enough to believe he’s entitled to ask someone who makes their professional living as a bartender to work once a week and keep the rest of their schedule free at all times just in case someone else calls out sick. That’s not someone I want to work for. After all, I have to eat and pay rent, unlike everyone else he hires, apparently? Idk. Whatever.

I have no idea what happened, truly. It doesn’t matter. None of my opinions about the service industry or South Dakota have changed. If anything, they’ve been reinforced, yet again. It’s always the same fake nice, passive-aggressive, backstabbing behavior, same indifference to their lives and needs of employees, same nasty treatment after constantly cleaning up the messes of others. It’s always the same. That’s why I hate it. I hated it before and I still hate it now. Literally nothing has changed.

As you can imagine, I told them to go fuck themselves, got blackout drunk, and then woke up in the morning totally and completely over it. It’s just another shitty job in a long line of shitty jobs. It’s not worth wasting my energy over, especially when I am going to New Orleans this week. I’ve already scheduled another job interview to make myself feel better, albeit somewhere much closer by. I may or may not show up for it. I might just wait until I get back from my trip instead.

Did something else significant happen this weekend? Oh yes, yes it did. Andrew made a very grand reappearance in his most fantastic form, The Emperor, to make a reconciliation. It was very… lovely. 🥰🥰🥰 Yes. This is why I hate him, because I really don’t, at all. It is the complete opposite.

Is it the ideal situation? No. But do I have a novel sitting on my desk that I need to finish? Yes. So, whatever. Andrew will be Andrew and forever remain my Muse. After spending most of the day yesterday composing this story, I’m not angry about it. It just is. If other people want to be mad about it they can, but I don’t really care. I’m happy to be writing silly stories about my favourite character again.

Why does it make me so happy? Ugh! If only it didn’t make me soooooooo….. fucking….. happy!!! Oh well. Time for us to all just collectively get over it and move on. In the meantime, perhaps I will consider posting the story, just so I can watch the little townspeople have another meltdown over it. It’s not like I have anything better to do. Besides, now that I’ve realized it really is their toxic small town culture that is causing literally ALL the problems, I don’t have to take it personally anymore. I can just write! Hurray!

So, I’ve decided to willingly stash the snake in my suitcase this time around (since we know he will sneak in there anyway) and take him to New Orleans for me. And he better inspire me, dammit, or else. If he’s going to continue forcing his presence on me, then he better well get off his lazy ass and start working. I need this book. I’m sick of getting fired by incompetent jerks who have no idea what they’re doing, including him. Ugh.

Let’s just finish it alreadyyyyyy!

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