BLOG: Ready or Not, Here I Come

Sunday morning. Packing/Moving Day 1. Crazy. Another year. Another apartment. Another set of life lessons learned. What will the future bring?

I’m looking around my living room and mentally dismantling it. Everything is going in plastic bins. I hear they are hurricane-proof. šŸ˜‰ Well, nothing is really hurricane proof, but you know what I mean. Less likely to be destroyed by seasonal flooding.

How did I spend my last Saturday night in my latest crash pad? By lounging in my sweats and watching House Hunters International, of course! I am really starting to get into the stories of the people who are featured on the show. I used to watch it just for the houses. Now I am fascinated by all the different people who take a big leap of faith to pack up and move to a completely different culture where they don’t speak the language. I especially love the awkward couples with so much tension that it’s obvious a post-production break-up is coming. I saw one with a couple moving from New Orleans to Bali and WOW! Just wow. It was messy! I couldn’t tear myself away! I love how HGTV can play stuff like that to it’s advantage. We know they’re not *really* fighting over the countertops. That’s what makes it so entertaining! Yep, turns out watching HGTV is way more fun than going out to the bars, partying like crazy, and getting trashed. Who knew? I guess the fact that I’m boring now officially makes me An Adult.

I feel strange about moving, so I treated myself to a Starbucks and fried croissant from the HyVee bakery. What is a fried croissant, you ask? Exactly what it sounds like. It’s a deep-fried croissant covered in glaze, aka heaven. It’s the perfect petit-dejuner for packing all my things away! I finally uploaded my music library directly to my new laptop after after a year. I’ve been using internet radio for a few years now. However, my music library contains many lost treasures from lives long past that are perfect for packing my life away and starting anew once again. For instance, One Headlight by The Wallflowers. Is this mid-90’s classic not the ideal background music for the scene in the movie where she’s packing up her life to head back East? Yes I think so! What can I say? I know how to set the mood!

Some of my long-lost treasures include Old-Ye. Of course! I used to *LOVE* Kanye West! Who didn’t love Kanye West? How I could not be thinking about Kanye West? It’s so hard to watch him struggle this way. When I listen to his old catalog, I find new reasons to think it’s brilliant. It’s so sad. I hope he gets better. I really feel for Kim right now. I am wishing all of them well. I hope his struggles will help people understand mental illness so we can work towards de-stigmatizing it in society.

Well, it’s just past noon now. No use in putting it off much longer. I will only stress myself out if I don’t get a certain amount of things done today. I have to meet with my lawyer tomorrow and I am going to freak out if I don’t give myself adequate time to do my hair beforehand. I’m very focused on what I can control in this totally stupid and completely ridiculous situation. Therefore, I must complete a list of tasks by the end of today, or else! It can totally be done. Easily. I am basically just a lazy pile of crap and that’s why I never get anything done.

I’m gonna keep the 90’s vibe going with Nirvana Unplugged, aka one of the Top Classic Rock Albums of All-Time. I miss MTV. I loved MTV. MTV was one of the only things that saved my trip to Montana. They were living so far back in the past, you could still watch music videos on MTV! Seriously! Lol, just kidding, Montana was okay. It would have been better if it hadn’t all been a total and complete disaster.

Well, Kurt Cobain’s always great when you’re in the mood to do heroin, but I’m going to put on something a little more upbeat now. Cue up the Spice Girls! Where would we be as a society without the Spice Girls? Nowhere. Think about it. Officially inspired to start packing now that I’ve remembered I was a mini Posh Spice. It explains SO much, I know, right? Now you understand why I’m so obsessed with The Little Gucci Dress. “What do you wear on the running machine? I can’t bring myself to wear flat shoes!”

It is what it is.

Farewell, interwebz. Until we meet again.

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