BLOG: Quest for Perfection

Here we are… new year, new decade, new me? Same me, but different? Same me, only slightly closer to accomplishing my quest for unobtainable levels of perfection? Don’t you see? If I can just be perfect, everyone will stop hating me all the time. Oh wait, that’s not how it works. Other people don’t matter at all. Therefore, I resume my quest to be perfect, if only so I can look in the mirror and have some level of self-respect.

My quest continues where it left off, with my efforts to stop drinking. How is it going? Well, it’s been two and a half weeks since I drank bourbon, which is good. Otherwise, I attempt to fill the void with Netflix binges and Disney+ Francais. It’s going slightly better than it was, but it’s still not great. I will be working a lot the next few weeks, so I will be out of the bar at least 4 or 5 days a week. I know this isn’t what anyone wants to hear, but it’s very hard to free yourself of addiction’s hold. It’s true what they say that one must break such an enormous task into smaller pieces. It’s not exactly like I have a strong support system around me to help. I’m doing the best I can on my own.

My other self-care routines continue as usual. I started an accounting journal for the New Year. I found a cool notebook and design every page by hand. I used it to successful track my December income and savings, though my expenditure tracking needs work. I paid all of my bills in full and ahead of time, made my year charity donations, and purchased a few much-needed new pairs of shoes with the $80 worth of coupons I’ve been hoarding for a month.

I also booked my flight and hotel for New Orleans, where I will be going in a month to visit the university (and to enjoy Mardi Gras season, of course). I suspect the majority of my five days will be spent eating, sitting on balconies watching people, and writing in the fabulous French Quarter suite I just booked. Touring the school is the most important part of the trip, but I decided to splurge a bit on a historic hotel so I can get some work done. You know, the kind of hotel where they deliver breakfast to your room every morning so you can sit on your private balcony and write in peace. Thank you, No this is not a paid ad (yet) but someday it could be. Anyway, I am looking forward to this trip. I need a good escape to get some real writing done. Hopefully everything will go well…

Other forms of self-care continue. Mainly just working and looking forward to enjoying the money I’ve suffered for. Always doing my best to ignore every negative person I encounter, which is difficult because that’s most of the town. I just do my best to remind myself that soon I will escape, and when I do, I will be on the right track towards living the sort of healthy, happy, fulfilling life I want to lead.

May things continue to get better for me so I finally stop journaling about my quest for perfection and start writing something that’s actually interesting…

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