Good morning! It’s Musical Monday! For real this week! I’m planning to re-watch Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. And then… I go to the zoo! Just kinda wander round the zoo. I look at the monkeys, their eyes look like my eyes. It’s so relaxing at the zoo! Sayin’ what’s up to kangaroos. My boys awake cause they nocturnal. I really really like the zoo!
If you don’t get it, you’ve never seen the show. I had it on last night and I forgot how hilarious the musical numbers are. The social commentary is my fav. Top Quality Television for certain. Love it.
Feeling better after the crazy spike in page views this weekend. I feel very uplifted. As they say, all press is good press! The name Betsey Horton continues to be notorious in a small town in the middle of nowhere. All are captivated by my presence. Everyone is talking about it, even if they are are delusional and/or straight-up wrong. Who cares? I am famous!
Now, back to the manuscripts. I’m obviously having some interesting feelings about Bloody Mary’s right now. Mainly, I’m really excited to discover that it has an actual POINT! There is a THEME and a MORAL and the main character learns a LESSON! Wow! Didn’t even see that one coming! It’s like a new life has been breathed back into it. It feels like I finally climbed to the top of the tallest tree and I can see the forest for the first time. It’s very, very exciting.
So whatever they were going for the other night clearly produced the opposite effect, as per usual. I’m still running this circus, lol. It’s just that I’ve had a sudden epiphany about how to organize it more effectively. Before I was derping around with it like, “WTF IS THIS!” Now I know. Thank you, Duke de la Salle. I was wrong to hate you. You are clearly the real evil villain mastermind pulling the strings behind the scenes. I should have known it all along. Maybe I did…
Right now I definitely feel confident in the fact that I have the first draft of something big. I’ve been struggling to figure out this book, but now I see it’s because I only had one piece. I hadn’t lived enough of the story yet. Now that it’s been four years since I started writing it and lots of things have happened, I can see it much better.
No, I still have no idea what I’m going to do about Andrew. I’m very focused on Bloody Mary’s at the moment. It’s so weird to think about this, but I realize when I refer to those entities I really am talking about manuscripts. It’s not a bar or a person. They are physical manuscript and those are the titles of them. Crazy.
I don’t think I’ll be working on it anytime soon. I feel pretty strongly about leaving town and pursuing other projects first. However, I can just feel the juices marinating again. There’s something bubbling underneath. It’s not going to come to the surface until later, though. First, I must depart!
Idk why people keep saying this place is bad for me. Look at all of these genius ideas I’ve come up with because of it! It has vibes, man! I’ll settle for that bench outside. I don’t even care. The vibe is LIT AF for the Writer Extraordinaire. They just don’t understand. As established in a previous post, we are looking at the situation from two completely different perspectives. My perspective is completely legitimate. Theirs is questionable at best. It is what it is.
Andrew is marinating on something too. I can tell. I calculated his age to be approximately seven (created late 2012/early 2013), which explains why he’s been demanding “chickie nuggies with mac n cheezy” for the last week to appease him. Don’t ask me where this shit comes from. We already know he’s a freak. We just don’t ask questions anymore.
What is the point of knowing this? Nothing, really. I’m just pointing out that the existence of Tulpa precedes Sam by several years. I still don’t know how or why they got crossed, but I can say that I have a new plot forming around this idea. Like, “Ohhhhh, now I maybe see what happened there! Now it all makes sense! Sort of! But not really! I’m still genuinely confused and I have lots of questions!”
So this is really great, because what I need from Andrew right now is yet another idea for a story. /s Maybe I’ll actually finish this one this time? Do you think he can hang in there for the entirety of this one, or will he get bored and transform into something else like he always does? I guess we will find out!
I’ve mostly spent the last few days trying to figure out how to combine the romance of Absolut Paris with the smut of… well… whatever we want to call that particular document. I’ve been calling it “The Legend of The Whoremonger” as a joke. And people wonder why I don’t want it to see the light of day, LOL! Anyway, Absolut Paris didn’t have any smut that I can recall. I specifically remember feeling uncomfortable writing about Henry Williams that way. I either didn’t think it was appropriate at the time or I just didn’t know how to write it. My guess is a bit of both. Now that I am old and wise, I can write the smut.
I couldn’t actually write smut until Andrew came along. Thanks for that inspiration, I guess. I couldn’t help it. His character was VERY insistant about wanting me to write smut. So insistant that there are definitely a few dubcon moments between the characters. TDLR; “I don’t think we should do this! We can’t break the rules!” “But breaking the rules is hot! Let’s do it anyway.” “I don’t know about this.” “It’s fine, you’ll have a great time!” “Are you sure?” “Yes!” “I’m just not sure.” “I am. Come on, let’s do it!” “Well… okay… if you really think this is what you want to do…” “It really is.” “Are you sure? Because I just don’t know…” Blah Blah Blah…
Yeah, he’s gotta do a lot of convincing in the first few stories. There’s actually one story in there that I like a lot simply because it delivers an incredible smackdown of the conventions of romance novels. It’s a scene where they talk about Consent! It’s sexy! Literally FIRE. I found a way to build a conversation about consent into the foreplay and oh man does it ever work! I don’t want to brag, but I’m actually quite proud of it. It’s one of the few stories in that binder I pull out regularly and think, “Damn, I have got to find the right plot for these characters because this scene should be shared with the world.”
Why do I write this shit as an ultra-feminist? Because I’ve always written romance. It’s my jam. Besides, romance is the bestselling genre in fiction. Even the mediocre stuff sells! I bet I can sell tons of it. It’s just about finding the right mix of plot, characters, and sex. And here I am, slaving away right now to find it.
Ahh, it feels so good to be writing like this again. Those long dark winter months of writer’s block were killing me. Now I have emerged from my cave more inspired than ever! Let’s hope my productivity level will get back to what it was when I started writing Bloody Mary’s. That level of productivity was amazing. I’m talking multiple stories and thousands of words a day. Good times, good times.
I just can’t hate it. I just can’t stay away. They don’t have to understand it. In fact, I’m pretty sure they never will. In the end, it’s really not my problem. I’m just doing my job as a writer. Speaking of that job, I have more of it to do now…
Be happy. Be grateful. Be inspired!