BLOG: Lizard Brain

Here I am again. The first day of work went well. I finally feel like I’ve mastered the delicate art of “Don’t bring your personal life to work.” I’ve really sucked at it for a long time but now I don’t want to think about my personal life at all. I don’t even want a personal life anymore. My personal life is nothing but a mess. I just want to throw myself into work. And today when I walked in that door, I felt like I had a job to do. I needed to give it my fullest attention. I took notes and everything. It was great. I’ve got a full-time schedule and I am R-E-A-D-Y to make money. Good vibes! Thank you, past me, for throwing my resume in that application pile. Who knew I’d come to be so grateful for such a random, off-the-cuff decision!

I had to get off the Facebook Feed. I decided to address certain people’s concerns in private. It is the only way to improve the writing. I don’t want people to interpret my words that way. I want to be a good ally. I will do what I can to improve my skills to better reflect the point I want to get across. That’s it. Just don’t ask me to parrot the memes. I am not a Mainstream Thinker. I’m way ahead of the game. We can use that to our advantage.

What else is new in life? Absolutely nothing. I have to sit down and work on some articles a friend of mine sent me to look over. I learned this great feedback technique from Paris that I found really helpful so I want to share it with as many people I know as possible. Perhaps I should start a consulting business? Get your writing approved by Betsey Horton, Writer Extraordinaire! I’m sure I’ll sell out of spots immediately!

Ha ha, just kidding. We all know I am one of The Most Unpopular People in Town. Nobody likes me. What is the name “Betsey Horton” if not a beat-up old soccer ball for everyone to kick around in the mud? Everybody just wants me to shut up and go away.

Well, too bad. I’ve already put all 31 years of my life into writing. I’ve gone way too far. I’m not going to stop now. All I can do is do my best to improve. It would be far more helpful if people explained to me how I can improve, but they don’t. Anyway, that’s why I’m taking the journalism class. Because I suck and I need to improve. So there.

Well, I think we’ve all learned a very important lesson about having opinions other people don’t agree with. Or did we? Who knows. I certainly don’t. Anyway, no more Facebook for awhile. I clearly need to give my writing some time alone to progress in private away from other people’s insulting eyes. If I recall correctly, that was the idea behind Yellowstone. Oh well. Here we are now. Maybe I just need to disconnect the WiFi and sit in front of Final Draft for awhile. Maybe then I will finally accomplish something legitimate instead whatever this nonsense crap I’ve been writing is.

You know what I need? An editor. That’s what I should really focus on finding. I’ve failed in all of my attempts so far, but I haven’t yet given up hope. I had a great Editor once. She knew exactly out how to get me to write what I meant to say. Blade Malfoy Celebare, if you’re out there, please find me! Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi! You’re my only hope!

I know it’s a long shot, but maybe she’ll randomly google her name and this page will come up. She’ll be like, “Saturn T. Riddle, is that you?!” Yes, yes it’s me! Heyyyy! Girl, I need your help now more than ever! You’re the best Editor I’ve ever had! Join me, and together we can rule the Publishing Industry side-by-side! Mwahahahaha!

Lol, I’ll let you guys know if I get a random email from her out of nowhere.

Alright, I am going to go read my friend’s articles now. Have a good one!

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