BLOG: I Need A Cleanse

Tuesday. Trying to write. Feeling very poetic at the moment. I’m sitting outside surrounded by the trees and nature for inspiration. I’ve got a couple lines down so far, but meh. I’m too distracted by the world I left behind. It just won’t let me go. I just keep getting roped back in. Sucks. I’m totally over it. I’m ready to move the fuck on.

I’ve decided the only way to deal with the ridiculousness of the last decade is to turn it into a musical comedy. There’s only one problem, of course. I have absolutely no idea how to write a musical. I can visualize it with no problem. But actually writing it? That’s a completely different story. I can assure you it will be hilarious, though. The only people who will hate it will be the small town assholes I left behind. As we learned in Paris, no one actually cares about them. No one even knows where South Dakota is. The only time it pops up in the news is when they are the worst at something. It’s not like I really have to try to make them the butt of the joke.

Watching my Snapchat flashbacks doesn’t help. The one from a year ago is me ranting at someone who falsely accused me of not paying my lunch tab (super offensive and insulting) from twelve hours prior right at bar close and telling them to go read a book instead of causing unnecessary drama. The situation was obviously resolved with one review of the security camera after someone saw my Snapchat, because I never heard about it ever again. Why do people start arguments like this? The answer is because they don’t read. I pointed this out as I gave a Tour de Bookshelf in the Snapchat and suggested some fascinating history books and literary anthologies to indulge in. Something tells me none of those people watching took any notes.

I also had another issue drag me back in. At least that one is resolved now. We made it go away because it was obvious bullshit. Again, more unnecessary drama caused by people who can’t be bothered to read. Why is it okay to spread around false rumors and ridiculous lies using my real name with the intent of destroying my reputation, but it’s not okay for me to write true stories about my life and change the names? You guessed it! Because the people I’m dealing with don’t read. It really is that simple.

And what has the universe rewarded me with for all of my efforts to find peace in a sea full of assholes and douchebags? Why, a fabulous beach vacation, of course! Karma is as karma does. I’ve also been using the LOA to attract it for about four years. That helps a lot. I can’t wait to spread out on the sand and relax by the ocean. Hopefully it will inspire me to work on that screenplay adaptation I’ve been sitting on for about six or seven years.

Sigh. That town really is sucking out my soul. I must find a powerful witch to cleanse me of all the negative energy I stored up living there so I can finally move on with my life. I am not a hateful person by nature, but if there’s one place in this world that really pushes me to the limits, it’s that horrible little town. I just can’t. Perhaps tonight I will try a meditation focused on untying karmic knots and entanglements. Then I will finally be set free. Hopefully. Maybe. I’m sure sleeping at night would help a lot too.

Well, if you will excuse me, I am going to go read some more poetry now. You know, just for funsies. It’s the perfect autumn day to indulge in a literary escape and get inspired! Fare thee well, readers. Here’s to hoping all the negativity starts dissipating into thin air…

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