BLOG: I Hate Hairdressers

So I made a super big deal about getting my hair done, so OBVIOUSLY that means it went wrong. Because I’m not allowed to just be happy. I can’t just go in and get a simple cut and color without walking out looking ridiculous. No, they always have to fuck it up. Why? Because that’s just what they do! And then they lecture us about using box dye to fix the errors we just overpaid them to make. Shut the fuck up and get it right the first time.

The cut is fine. The color is HORRIBLE. And not only did she give me the WORST highlight job ever, she OVERCHARGED ME FOR IT AND CALLED IT A FUCKING COLOR CORRECTION! All that time and money just down the drain. I WAS IN THAT SALON FOR FIVE HOURS! FIVE HOURS! All just to walk out looking like a trashy meth head with five baby daddies! Fuck this. Tomorrow I am calling her and demanding she fix this shit for free. I was READY to look in that mirror and feel beautiful. But no! No, no, no! She had to fucking botch it because I am not allowed to feel happiness or self-confidence or anything! I can’t just go to a salon and walk out happy. Everything always has to go wrong due to factors completely outside of my control.

I’m so angry right now. I’m humiliated. I look AWFUL! I don’t even feel like I can leave the house. It’s so embarrassing. So now I’m sitting here having a nervous breakdown because this is like the 15th fucking stylist I’ve been to out here and NONE OF THEM EVER FUCKING GET IT RIGHT! They always fuck it up! ALWAYS! I am NEVER letting anyone from the midwest touch my hair ever again. All regional privileges lost. Fuck this town, fuck this state, and especially fuck these second-rate fucking hairdressers. The only thing they are good at is robbing people blind.

I’m so angry. I hate it here. I just hate it here. I’m so tired of people telling me to be positive and that there are good people and blah blah blah blah. No. Shut the fuck up. It SUCKS here. I gave it a chance. I gave it a chance for eleven years. I put aside all of my judgments and kept an open mind and believed in the good in people even when I couldn’t see it (Bloody Mary’s being the most famous example). Unfortunately, my conclusion is that it sucks here, I hate it, the vast majority of people I’ve met have been comically terrible (Bloody Mary’s, yet another famous example), and I want to go home back to the East Coast where people are normal and there are hairdressers who know what they’re doing and everyone isn’t so fucking fake all the time and there is REAL ethnic food to enjoy because it’s not all white people!

I hate it. I hate it. I can’t believe I hate it. I just wanted so badly to turn around in that chair and love my hair JUST ONE FUCKING TIME and I didn’t get it. I just got robbed and humiliated instead. Typical midwest trash. I can’t say I’m surprised. Just… disappointed. Very disappointed. I should be going out and showing off my new hair and feeling good and instead I’m sitting in my apartment crying my eyes out.

I hate it here. I literally just fucking hate it here. Get me out of this nightmare. I can’t live like this anymore.

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