BLOG: Another Downer

Friday. Things were starting to go well, so life presented me with another downswing.

This time it is my rental agency threatening to evict me at the end of July. It’s funny, because I just got the city to stop threatening to cut off my utilities. Now it’s the apartment itself thrown into question. My job is supposed to last until September. Then I am going elsewhere. I emailed them and explained the circumstances. I asked to stay an extra month. Now I have to deal with the anxiety of waiting all weekend to find out whether they will make an exception to the rule and allow me to stay in my apartment an extra month. Great.

If it’s not one thing, it’s another. At least it’s teaching me that I’m sick of sudden disruptions to my routine and I just want some stability. I can’t take the uncertainty anymore. Thinking about being homeless in a month is legitimately giving me a panic attack. I refuse to move back into my parents’ house for the sake of my own mental health. I can’t stand the idea of sleeping in my car after working all night. Ugh. Why can’t anything in my life just go right for once?

Clearly the only solution is to GTFO of Verm. I mean… that’s literally the plan. I just now have this 30 day period thrown into question. Forget it. Maybe I’ll just buy a train ticket one day and just up and leave it all behind. I just can’t live my life like this anymore. There’s nothing here for me. I can do better somewhere else. And I will! If I can make it out of here alive…

God dammit, that was such a fucking mood killer. I was going to blog about how well I’ve been managing my routine this week. I also wanted to write about discovering a new pair of cowboy boots at the local thrift store. It brought joy to my day. So much joy that it inspired me to donate a bunch of clothes so other people can feel the same joy I felt today. Instead, it’s an eviction notice. Hurray.

I’m so bummed out now. I think I’m going to go cry. I just can’t win no matter how hard I try. ☹️

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