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Wednesday. I managed to put off all of my household chores yesterday so they have to get done today. Not so glamorous at all. Take a peak into the life of Betsey Horton, Writer Extraordinaire. Today she is doing the dishes! By hand! That’s right! Her shithole apartment doesn’t even have a dishwasher! It’s better she’s moving out after all!

Nightmare situation: I opened up my banking app this morning and my paycheck wasn’t there. We have a serious problem. That is a week of tips and wages unaccounted for. That’s not going to fly, especially because I suffered so much deep in my soul for that money.

I wonder if they’re using it as a trap to lure me back in? Would they do that? How am I going to explain to them that I’m going to be homeless and that’s why I freaked out and quit? Also… the whole morals thing. What a stressful situation. If only I knew how to be good at human interaction. Alas, I am surrounded by people who do not communicate anything at all to my face ever for any reason. It’s always behind my back. Like now.

“Have you checked Facebook?” they ask. No, I haven’t checked the obvious spy machine owned and operated by an evil lizard creature hellbent on world domination. Why would I engage with a machine designed to anger and divide people based on their beliefs? Why are you engaging with a machine designed to steal your identity and sell it to the highest bidder, all for the sole profit of one individual? No, I have not been on Facebook. I suggest you don’t go on it either.

For me, the most disappointing thing is that I didn’t hear about a video going viral. I thought this guy was taking a video so I stood there and did a whole monologue outside the bar. I was ready for it. As soon as I noticed it there, I began acting. It was on pure instinct alone. I gave them high quality material! And now to find out they didn’t even use it in the final cut? This is an outrage! I demand to speak with the director of this production immediately!

Well, at least now I understand why everyone was acting so weird to me when I came back from Montana. Jeez. And here I was narrating my life as, “New job, new apartment, new me!” I moved into the new place, started my job at The Titanic, and began a new adventure over in Yankton. I proceeded to spend most of the following year Discovering the Exotic, Lively World of Yankton, then went to to the Paris Writing Workshop. I returned in August and I’ve been ragingly depressed ever since. Except for when I traveled to the Black Hills and New Orleans, of course. Now I’m planning to go to the East Coast.

In hindsight, it’s kind of funny. I’m living my life as Bridget Jones, but they have convinced themselves I am Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. It’s literally this entire crazy scenario they made up in their heads. Lol! I’ve never seen that movie, by the way. I’ve read a summary and I think it contributes to harmful stereotypes about mental illness. I recommend Crazy Ex-Girlfriend instead.

As people always tell me, “It doesn’t matter what other people think.” And in this case, it’s true. I’ve already proven I’m not who they say I am. Maybe it’s time for those people to finally admit the truth: they were wrong. Oh, but they are men, and therefore never wrong. It is always the woman who is scheming to bring them down. What a terribly sexist world view. How can anyone possibly expect me to take any of this seriously? Ugh! What a massive of time and energy.

Looking over writing stuff. I’m glad Bloody Mary’s has a point but I’m still not going to work on it for awhile. It’s going to sit on my shelf and let another idea have a turn. I’d personally like to swap it for a better South Dakota story, aka a murder mystery set on an Indian Reservation. Would you watch that? I would watch that. I’d watch that all day. Could be a whole series! There’s a lot of unsolved mysteries in this state.

I have a whole portfolio of screenplay ideas just sitting on my desk. I’m ready to write them. I’m ready to get out of here so I can start my new life. I’ll have my new routine, a new job, a new place, a new commute via train (instead of an hour by car which SUCKS), a new everything. I can just write and be myself and try to do a little good in this world.

Today is going to be so exciting! I can’t wait to start packing up boxes! Yay! Meanwhile, I get to figure out my paycheck situation. Lol! Of course I couldn’t just get the money. Why would I just get the money? Why would I expect direct deposit to go through when it was supposed to? Why would I think the money I earned would come to me? Haha, they are giving billionaires more money while I am stressing out over a measly $700. Lol. I “don’t make enough money” for government assistance but they own seven houses and get more money. Lol, hahaha, Look at this fucking world that I live in. What a joke. Are you kidding me? How is this even real? Please explain to me how this shit is even real? Ridiculous.

And in the end, she learned two things: First, the more you chase money, the more it eludes you. Second, I have way more important things to worry about right now than some small town soap opera. I am in quite a precarious situation right now. Fuck the world.

Off to go stress out about everything now. *facepalm*

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