Bonjour! Welcome to BetseyHorton.com! Here you will find all manner of fun things to read. Enjoy your time on my website. Feel free to let me know if you have any feedback not covered by the disclaimer below.

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BLOG

  • I’ve been keeping an online diary since approximately 2002 (age 13). Some people have a problem with this. I don’t really care. The current archive of posts on this website dates back to June 2016. Some are currently available. The rest will reappear again at my leisure.

COLUMNS

  • The Volante (2010-2014) – The weekly column I wrote for my college newspaper.

FAN FICTION

  • FanFiction.Net Archive (2002-2010). Once upon a time, I wrote fanfiction. I am not ashamed to admit this. I had a following. I won awards. It made me the writer I am today. Please enjoy on behalf of socially awkward teenagers everywhere.

NOVELS

  • Absolut Paris (2007) – A novel about a teenage girl who runs away to Paris and has an affair with her French teacher. It only sounds like it was written by a seventeen-year-old girl because it was written by a seventeen-year-old girl.
  • Something Something, Set It All On Fire (present)

POETRY

***COMING SOON***

PROMPTS

SCRIPTS

  • The Catfish (2017) – A reflection on the many trials and tribulations of online dating, featuring Andrew as The Catfish.
  • High School Reunion (2017) – I couldn’t attend my (public) high school reunion, so I decided to imagine what it would be like if I did. Fun fact: this is the most-read post on my website of all time. More people read this post than attended the actual reunion. I win.
  • The Island of Lost Guys (2016) – What would happen if all of my exes were trapped on an island together? Click here to find out! Sequel coming soon!
  • Spy Movie (2005) – A short script I wrote for a high school theatre class. A parody of a James Bond film, starring women, of course.

SHORT STORIES

  • Andrew – (dates questionable) An incredibly small sampling of the many, many ridiculous stories about Andrew.
  • Bloody Mary’s Bar (2016-2018) – Short stories and scripts inspired by my favourite bar in all the world. These are supposed to be parodies. Apparently I’m the only person in this town with a sense of humor.
  • Travel Tales (2016-2017) – Stories about the various strange characters I encountered while traveling through the Southwest.
  • FictionPress Archive (2006-2008) – Short stories I wrote in high school. I guess it’s interesting enough for people to click on, so here it is!